January 3, 2024 at 11:47 am

Army Sergeant Says Private Can Only Have 6 Beers, So He Complies And Buys The Largest 6 Beers He Can Find

by Trisha Leigh

I’ve never been in the military. That said, I think everyone can relate to running into someone who wants to follow the rules down to the last letter – even if they have no stake in the game.

OP and his buddy wanted to enjoy their night in the barracks.

I was in the Army way back when the Internet was new and computer-illiterate Commanding Officers had their clerks print out emails so they could read them.

As a young Private, after work me and my buddies would often stop by the Class Six store on post (an Army liquor store) to buy beer after we got off duty.

One day me and my buddy grabbed a 12-pack of beers on the way to the barracks. When we got to the barracks, we had to pass the CQ (“Charge of Quarters”—basically a guard posted at the entrance to the barracks).

A higher-ranking fellow wanted to stop that from happening.

The CQ that day was a Specialist (E-4) who I really didn’t get along with. He was mad he had to pull CQ duty and he was always trying to find everyone’s stupid infractions. He had taken a special interest in me for some reason.

The CQ told us we could only bring 6 beers into the barracks. Since he was an E-4, and outranked myself (E-2) and my friend (E-3), I was very respectful when I asked him what he meant. He pulled out a 3-ring binder with the barracks SOP (standard operating procedure) and pointed to the section that said a soldier could bring only “6 beers into the barracks.”

Interesting. I thought about handing my friend 6 beers and taking 6 myself to get around this stupid rule, but this guy would log that we opened the 12-pack of beer outdoors in the log book and we’d get in trouble anyway.

OP’s response – and malicious compliance – ended up doubling his stash.

But then I had an interesting idea. I thanked the CQ and told my friend to come on. We walked back to Class Six and got a refund on the beer. Then we bought six 40 ounce bottles of malt liquor.

We went from 144 fl oz of beer with twelve 12-ounce cans to 240 fl oz of malt liquor in six 40-ounce bottles.

When we returned to the barracks, the CQ wanted to inspect our package. He just about hit the ceiling when he saw I was carrying six 40 ounce bottles.

CQ: “I told you you can only bring six beers into the barracks!”

Me: “There are six beers in here. I can count them off if you like?”

I then proceeded to count them before he could respond. Flustered, he allowed us to proceed.

Still, he got called onto the carpet the following morning.

The next morning the First Sergeant (highest ranking Non-Commissioned Officer in the Company) called me to his office.

He yelled at me for about 5 full minutes before he calmed down long enough to tell me I was getting an Article 15 (non-judicial punishment; roughly the military equivalent of a “plea bargain”).

Why? Because I violated his SOP by bringing six 40 ounce beers into his barracks.

That is, until the guy who called him got called up himself.

That was when I heard the CO (Commanding Officer), a Captain in the next office over, call for the First Sergeant. First Sergeant jumped up and went straight to the CO’s office.

I strained to hear them talking for a few minutes. From what I could make out, they were reviewing the SOP and comparing to the CQ log. But their voices got louder as they started expressing different views and I could hear that part clearly:

First Sergeant: “…but it says clearly you can have a 6-pack of beers!”

CO: “First Sergeant, it says you can have 6 beers.”

First Sergeant: “But it’s obvious it means 6 cans of beer!”

CO: “No First Sergeant it’s not obvious. Send that soldier back to work. We’re done here!”

I guess all’s well that ends well!

A couple of seconds later I could feel the sheer anger as First Sergeant stormed back into his office and bellowed “Get the f— out of here!”

So I did.

But let’s see what Reddit thinks, just in case.

It says what it says.