January 1, 2024 at 2:49 am

Mentally Ill Wife Hasn’t Worked in 5 Years And Doesn’t Want To Go Back, But Husband Works Constantly To Keep The Family Going

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/AITA/@Many_Bunch_6678

It’s a story as old as time itself

Okay, it’s really not THAT old, but I have heard quite a few stories about couples fighting about who or who shouldn’t go back to work after an extended break.

And this story from Reddit is full of sadness and conflict.

But is this guy wrong for telling his wife he thinks she needs to go back to work?

Check out the story below so you can make up your mind.

AITA for telling my wife it is time she went back to work?

“My wife has been out of work since 2018, she had a mental break down during her fifth year of teaching.

She has been going to therapy since, and we started marriage counseling during Covid.

Reason for marriage counseling was because she thought I was pushing her too hard to go back to work before her and her therapist thought she was ready.

He’s working his fingers to the bone.

I tried to explain many times that was not my intent, but realistically speaking for me to keep up with expenses, and retirement contributions I pretty much have to take on extra shifts which sometimes clock in over 18 hours a day. On average I have been pulling 84 hour weeks. I have been doing this since she stopped working.

We recently had a fight cause I had an extremely rough week and had the conversation again about her going back to work.

She opened up with the same line she always does “We do not feel it is the right time yet, she feels I have made great progress and if I rush it I run the risk of losing it.”

He’s not a huge fan of her therapist.

The we being her and therapist. I told her I really do not give a **** what her therapist has to say, and I am sick of you hiding behind her words whenever this topic comes up.

She started to cry, telling me she doesn’t like being this way either and I am belittling her due to suffering from mental health issues.

I replied saying I do not indeed to belittle you or not take your issues seriously problem is I am running myself ragged, and what happens if I have a mental break?

Do you think I will have the luxury of not working?

No, I will have to push through my demons.

She said her therapist warned her this would happen sooner or later I would try to manipulate her into doing something she was not ready to do.

He lost his cool.

This is when I really lost it and just let it all out. I did not say anything kind.

I told her she insults me for thinking what I am doing is manipulation. I told her I am working these extra shifts so she can be home and playing games.

I told during this entire time you have not even made an effort to improve on certain skills, I told her she can still not cook to save her life, and that was sick of coming home after 12 or 18 hour days just make us dinner cause her idea of making dinner is pretty a pre-made in the oven or ordering out.

And this situation exploded.

Among other things, that said she stormed out the house crying yelling and shouting how I am a piece of ****, and rather see myself comfortable versus her getting better.

So here I am, I do not feel at the core I am wrong, and while what I said was harsh I think it did have to be said.


And here’s what people had to say.

One person said this guy has a big decision to make.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another individual said he needs to get a lawyer before he does anything.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This reader thinks his wife’s therapist sounds sketchy.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One reader said his wife needs to be bringing in some kind of money.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this person said he’s NTA and had a lot of ideas and questions…

Source: Reddit/AITA

That sounds like a tough situation.

Let’s hope they can eventually work it out!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.