February 20, 2024 at 7:24 pm

A Therapist Explains The “Hot Wife And Mean Husband” Dynamic Among Couples And How It Can Be Treated

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

Are y’all ready for some therapy talk?

A psychologist named Dr. Angelica Shields took to TikTok to dissect how some couples operate and how these dynamics can lead to problems.

Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

Dr. Shields talked to viewers about what she calls “hot wife and mean husband” dynamic. She said, “The female’s deeper feelings and needs can’t help but bust through. ‘You never talk to me,’ she thinks, only she doesn’t say that out loud because that’s too vulnerable. She sets up a test to see if she doesn’t talk to her man, how long will it take him to notice?”


Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

She continued, “He’s avoidant, so he doesn’t notice. Or she’s still so afraid of abandonment, if she’s vulnerable, she keeps him at arm’s length by criticizing or bossing him around instead of saying, ‘See me, engage with me, care about me.’ But he’s avoidant, so he takes everything at face value and just gets super defensive. Like, ‘What do you want from me? I just can’t win.'”

Dr. Shields added that this dynamic is one of her favorites to treat because, “They both have deep wounds to be healed, and in the safety of a therapy office with parameters around the exercises, they’re wide open to heal them.”

Does this sound familiar to you?

Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

Check out what she had to say.


The wife thinks this guy is a narcissist, but that’s not the case. This #couple does amazing in therapy. #marriage #relationships #communication #wounds #corebeliefs #trauma #couplestherapy #healing #anxiousdisorganized #anxiousattachment #attachment #avoidantattachment #bigfive #bigfivepersonality #neurotic #anxiety #emotional #imago #partner #boyfriend #girlfriend #therapist

♬ original sound – Dr. Angelica Shiels

Let’s see how folks reacted.

This viewer feels SEEN.

Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

Another individual thinks she’s talking about their life.

Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

And one person said her and her BF got over this hump.

Source: TikTok/@dr..angelica.shie

Don’t avoid therapy if you’re really trying to fix your relationship.

I hope this advice helps!

Now that you’ve read that story, check out this one about a delivery driver who took a $400 grocery order back because she wasn’t given a tip.