February 11, 2024 at 2:48 am

Teetotaler Stages An Intervention Because Of His Roommate’s Drinking, But He Pushes Back Because He Believes There’s Trauma Projection Going On

by Chris Allen

Source: Reddit/AITA/Shutterstock

Everything in moderation.

One of the best, simple, 3-word phrases of advice your parents or a teacher could ever impart to you.

But a lot of people have a problem with that, and find themselves on the wrong side of addiction.

It can become compounded when past experiences color the way you see friends or loved ones.

Here’s a story about projection. And I don’t mean the movie theater kind.

AITA for telling my roommate to stop projecting his trauma onto me

I (24M) live with a few of my friends. One of them, R (23M), had family members growing up that had bad alcohol problems and therefore doesn’t drink.

I asked him before we moved in together if he was OK with that because I do like to drink from time to time. He said he was and it hasn’t been a problem the past few months.

He explains how he rarely drinks, sometimes going 2 or 3 months in between.

Hardly a ‘habit’.

My drinking habits are well controlled – I don’t drink often, once a month at *most* and usually closer to every 2-3 months. I don’t wake up, go throughout my day, or have my boredom interrupted with “Man I could use a drink.”

I don’t crave alcohol, I’m not a “Beer or two after work” type of guy” because I don’t like the taste of alcohol that much, I just enjoy its effects.

If I’m going through emotional problems, I especially stay away from alcohol – that’s just bad juju to combine the two.

OP continues describing a pretty healthy, normal relationship with drinking.

Especially for a 24-year old!

When I do drink its on the weekend, I have nothing important going on the next day, and I’m in the right mood where I think “Man it’d be kinda fun to bump some tunes, play some video games, and chat with some friends *and* have a few drinks.”

I make a few cocktails, measure my intake, and usually have about 8-10 shots worth – falls under “binge drinking” but considering how rarely I do it I’m really not concerned about it. I’ve asked if I’m disruptive and have been told no, I am not – mostly because those nights I’m in bed a solid 2 hours before the rest of them go to bed.

Then his friend/roommate dropped the intervention bomb on him.

Things got intense and escalated as he stood his ground.

Yesterday R pulled me to the side and did an “intervention” on me about my “drinking problem.”

I wondered what he was talking about and eventually it devolved into a fight where I told him to “Stop projecting your trauma onto me dude” because it was basically him comparing polishing off a handle every night to taking half the year to finish off a single bottle.

We’re not talking now and he is obviously mad at me which makes me wonder AITA for what I said?

Let’s see what folks had to say about this tense situation.

One person gave some fantastic advice about exactly what could have been said to better smooth it out.

Source: Reddit/MaliciousCompliance

Another commenter agrees that the roommate has an incredibly warped view of what alcoholism actually is.

Source: Reddit/MaliciousCompliance

While one Redditor thinks the onus lies on the roommate to be honest and clear.

Source: Reddit/MaliciousCompliance

Moderate your projection, bro.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.