March 4, 2024 at 8:33 am

He Discovered He Has A Long Lost Daughter, And She Begged Him To Spend All His Time With Her, But He Refused Because His Family Comes First

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/AITA/@PersimmonOk1678

This is a pretty sad story…

It comes to us from Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page and it involves a dad and a daughter he never knew he had until recently…and now things have become quite complicated.

Is he wrong for how he’s handling this tricky situation?

Read his story below and see what you think.

AITA for telling my daughter it’s unreasonable to expect me to spend all my time with her?

“When I (36M) was in college, I dated Margot.

In our sophomore year, she transferred to a different university, causing our break up. It was amicable but given our different paths, we lost touch. I’ve now been married to my wife, Cathy, for 10 years. We have 3 children: a 9 year old boy, 8 year old girl and a 2 year old girl.

Last year, I got a friend request on Facebook from Margot. Shortly after accepting, she messaged me and asked if we could talk on the phone. I found it weird but something told me to go through with it.

Uh oh…

So, I called her and she told me that she had a 16 year old daughter, Paige.

I was in shock and at first almost didn’t believe her. She begged me to at least take a DNA test.

After speaking with Cathy, I agreed. Turns out, it’s true, I do have a 16 year old daughter who’s lived just an hour from me her entire life.

Margot says she didn’t tell me as she thought she could be a mother on her own. But now Paige was older and wanted to know me.

I agreed to start a relationship with her. At first things went pretty well. We did a lot of stuff one on one as well as some things with my wife and other children.

Initially, Paige wanted to spend a lot of time just us, which made sense as we had a lot of catching up to do.

I see Paige at least once a week. She usually comes down to stay with us every other weekend and I’ll go up to see her on the weeks in between, just me, not the rest of the family.

There has to be a balance…

While I love my time with Paige, I do also have to balance time with my other kids. Something she doesn’t seem to understand.

I’ll invite Paige to join family things and she’ll turn it down. Or, she’ll find out I’m doing something with one of the other kids and want to come along or ask me to cancel the plans to spend time with her. The biggest incident came this past weekend.

My son had a basketball game. Paige asked if I could come hang out with her.

I explained why I couldn’t but said she was more than welcome. She got irritated and said no.

I offered to come up the following day.

She asked why I couldn’t just blow off the basketball game. I told her that it was important to her brother.

This was getting weird…

She said I had more time with them and they can “do without me for a few years”. I told her that absolutely was not going to happen. I said I love her. I want to spend time with her, but I also have other kids to consider.

She is always welcome to join our activities that aren’t special one on one days, and I’ll always make sure I spend one on one time. She said she never asked for little siblings and while I sympathized, I said they exist and I have to balance everyone.

Things are tense.

I said if she doesn’t want to hang out with the other kids and my wife, that’s fine, but expecting me to blow them off isn’t reasonable.

Now, she’s very upset with me.

I have offered therapy. She refuses. I’ve asked if there’s anything my wife or other kids did. She says no, she just doesn’t want to share me.

She still claims that I should put her above her siblings. I can’t do that.


Check out how people responded to this story.

This person said he’s NTA.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another person doesn’t think either of them are wrong here.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person feels sorry for Paige.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person said the kid is going through a tough time.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And one reader said the mom is the ******* in this story.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Yeah, I don’t know what this kid is thinking.

She needs a little dose of reality, yeah?

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.