It’s great to encourage your kids and their partners to stand up for themselves, especially when they’re dealing with discrimination or they’re unhappy.

But as OP found out, there is a difference between being supportive and taking loyalty too far.

AITA for “meddling in my daughter in law’s private matters”?

My (63F) daughter (Hannah – 35F) has been married to her wife (Eleanore – 34F) for the past 11 years.

Eleanore is like a daughter to me. Admittedly, things were not perfect when we met and as a mother I was worried if she was really the person Hannah needed.

Eventually though, I saw how deeply she loved my daughter and we both got to like each other. She is just like Hannah to me, and I love and respect her as a person overall.

Eleanore’s family of origin were horribly religious. So much so that when they found out about her orientation, they kicked her out at the age of 15.

She never talked about them or even mentioned them throughout all these years. She didn’t even talk to their kids about them.

Recently Eleanore’s mother reached out to her to reunite, saying her father had passed away and he was the main obstacle against them seeing her.

Mama bear mode 2.0 activated.

Understandably, she has been an emotional mess since these events started.

I have watched their kids several times while they went to Eleanore’s family to talk.

While they were picking up their kids, I sat down with Eleanore and Hannah and told her she has been nothing but sad since these events occurred.

I told her she owed them literally nothing and should just consider all options including not talking to them.

Hannah later called me said I shouldn’t meddle in Eleanore’s business because even she as Eleanore’s wife was just there supporting whatever she chooses, not telling her what to do.

I feel like a horrible person adding more pressure to an already stressful situation.

AITA?

Let’s see if the commenters think she did the right thing.

This person is very understanding.

Looking at it from the daughter’s side.

This commenter has no time for this.

Maybe not what OP’s daughter needed.

I’d say OP crossed the line between supporting your daughter and controlling her.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.