April 24, 2024 at 11:22 pm

His Dad And Stepmom Don’t Want Him To Get To Know His Biological Mom’s Side Of The Family, But He Decided To Do It Anyway

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/AITA

Some people just don’t like to confront the truth

And they can get pretty emotional when their children go against their wishes and take matters into their own hands.

Is this young man wrong for what he’s doing?

Check out his story and see what you think.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents until they give me an honest answer to my question?

“I (17M) live with my parents and my younger siblings. We were very close until recently.

My first mom passed away when I was 6 days old. She developed eclampsia in late stages of the pregnancy with me and she never recovered from it. A few weeks later my dad packed up and moved with me because he couldn’t stay where they were planning a life together.

This left her family behind. She has parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins who were always a very tight knit family.

My dad met my adoptive mom when I was 7 months old. Out of insecurity on my mom’s part and a desire to forget the future he had planned with my mom, contact between my biological maternal side was limited to once a year.

There are some big issues.

My mom didn’t want to “share” the role of mom. She knew my family would want to talk about my mom around me and would want me to know that she existed. But she didn’t want to feel like she was less of a true mom.

And my dad has just never gotten over the pain of losing my mom and he buries the past and her to cope. I don’t fully understand why they couldn’t put me first in that decision. But they didn’t.

My childhood was mostly happy. It had some negatives like wishing I knew my family better or had known my mom. Also I wasn’t accepted by my adopted mom’s family so that was always fun.

He wanted to get to know the other side of the family.

Then I had more contact with my family. It started with texting, calling and zoom calls regularly and then convincing my dad to let me go for a weekend here and there. He and my mom did not like it and the decision confused my siblings too.

I have loved getting to know them and they have loved getting to know me. Grandparents rights weren’t an option for them because of that one visit a year. So seeing me more is huge for them.

His dad and stepmom aren’t happy about this.

My parents really started to let me know how much they disliked all this extra contact. My dad said it’s painful and my mom told me she feels less important because I am chasing a relationship that ties to a mom I don’t remember.

A couple of weeks ago they told me I should think of them and my mom’s feelings. I asked them how they would feel if they were in my mom’s shoes or her family’s shoes. If they passed away while their child was just a baby and they were erased by their spouse and his new spouse, would they be okay with that?

And would they be okay if my siblings or I passed away with a newborn and they never got to be a real part of their lives.

That didn’t go over too well…

They refused to answer. I told them I didn’t want to speak until they gave me an answer because they were being totally unfair to me.

My parents are angry about this and my siblings asked me why I had to make this such a big deal. So I posed the question if one of us passed away and we never got to see their only child, would they be okay with that?

It helped them to understand but my parents don’t like my no talking thing. But all they want to talk about is this topic. And they also won’t give me an answer.


Check out what people had to say on Reddit.

One individual doesn’t think he did anything wrong.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person said he’s NTA.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another person shared their thoughts.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This Reddit user nailed it.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And one person said his family is being unrealistic.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This family needs to have some real talk with each other.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.