April 19, 2024 at 11:21 pm

People Open Up About When They Realized They Married The Wrong Person

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/Pexels

I don’t know if it’s a sign of the times, but SO MANY people I know in my age group have already been divorced.

It’s always sad to hear stories like that, but I guess it’s better to separate from someone than stay with them if you know it’s not going to work out in the end.

Let’s hear from AskReddit users who opened up about when they knew their marriages weren’t going to work out.

That’s not good…

“Got married.

Went on a honeymoon in China. We were both PhD students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her 10,000 $ for the honeymoon.

So we go to China to celebrate AND she wants to do some light pre-dissertation research while there for a month or two. Fine.

It turns out, I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels, while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to easily get to an airport to fly back home (also had 0 family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped.

I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip and not at all like a honeymoon, how I was alone almost everyday.

We were sharing a laptop while in the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school).

I open the laptop one morning before she leaves to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message open on the laptop.

It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip – our honeymoon.

Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon w/ maybe a slight detour for research.

It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden.

She apologized.

We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker.

I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email.”

Oh, boy…

“On the wedding day…

She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up.

So I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars) told her it was not needed.

She fought me on it but finally agreed.

Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck.

Knew right then, sadly.”

Right away.

“It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nosedive as soon as we moved in together.

But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public.

I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came.

He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this.

Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip.

I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry.”


“When she sat me down and with a straight face said “I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.”

I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller.

She said you’re a father and it’s too time consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake.

Catching her with another man in my car didn’t help the case to stay married.”

Worked out…eventually…

“I figured it out after the 5th guy she slept with over 7 years of marriage. At least 5 I knew about anyway.

Every time I thought it was me.

I could be a better husband, more caring, more supportive, more anything she needed.

If I could just be a better spouse she would love me and then everything would be right and we would be fine.

Then it hit me, she doesn’t love me.

I was just never going to be someone she loved no matter how good of a husband I was.

So I told her I wanted a divorce and why.

She didn’t even cry.

I moved out that week, filed for divorce, got an apartment and moved on.

Worked out for me though, I found a wonderful woman who does love me, we are happy and thriving together.

We have been together for 15 years now. I’m just so happy.”

Not a good situation.

“On my wedding day.

We were married at her parent’s house, a beautiful place on a private country club.

The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting intoxicated than with me.

I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day.

After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I find her passed out upstairs in a bedroom.

I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home.

Needless to say our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off.

5 years later she went in to in-patient treatment and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn’t love me and wanted a divorce.”

What a guy…

“When I lost twins and he dropped me off at the hospital to get an operation to have my babies removed.

He dropped me off at the hospital bleeding and went for a party with his friends…”

Never grew up.

“I realized that I was hiding good news from her because I knew she would make me feel bad about it.

I hoped she was going to grow up and stop being selfish and childish.

She never did.”

Left all alone.

“Got diagnosed with cancer and she kinda shut off. She then decided to leave several months later.

At an appointment I was officially 1yr clear, which is a milestone, I realised I was alone through a lot of it.

She never wanted anything to do with it.

Was a revelation to myself that the relationship breakdown wasn’t all because of me.

Got my 3 yr tests this weekend, blood tests and scans etc.

Current GF is driving me and then taking me out to lunch afterwards. Heck of an upgrade.”

The old flame.

“When she slept with a high-school flame for a year while hiding it and staying home on my single income.

We weren’t working. I knew that.

I was trying to improve things, and we’d talked about it, but she somehow neglected to give me that detail.

I’m not angry that she didn’t love me. But just tell me. Don’t do me dirty like that after thirteen years.”

An emotional affair.

“6 months after our wedding when I found out about the emotional (he says only emotional but I’m pretty sure it was physical too) affair through text messages.

He had sent his affair partner screenshots of my texts to him in which I was begging him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong.

They both proceeded to make fun of my desperation to fix my marriage and his affair partner said something along the lines of “poor valiant, she doesn’t know anything and keeps begging you for attention and affection”.

The moment i read those words I realised how big of mistake I had made.”

Someone else…

“About a year and a half into our marriage she got an internship with Disney and had to move to the other side of the county for seven months.

Six months into the internship she tells me that she met someone else.

She continued to string me along for another six months saying she doesn’t want to get divorce but she’s just been really confused.

It turns out she just wanted to keep using me to pay all the bills while she finished her degree.

Once she was a month away from finishing school she admitted that she never really wanted a relationship with me, she only started dating me to make her ex jealous.

She had been cheating on me for about ninety percent of or ten year long relationship, and only stuck around because her ex didn’t want to get back together and she didn’t want to take care of herself.

She told me she knew this most recent guy she was cheating with was “the love of her life” after three weeks. They had a kid together less than a year after we got divorced and split up within two years.”

Well, that was depressing!

But maybe they are all better off in the end.

If you liked that story, check out this one about a delivery driver who gave two weeks notice… so his employer disabled his truck when he was 300 miles from home!