April 30, 2024 at 1:42 pm

She Sent Money To Her Parents Every Month, But They Sent Some To Her Brother As “Fun Money.” Now They’re All Mad She Put A Stop To It.

by Abby Jamison

Source: Shutterstock/Reddit

Sometimes our family and cultural expectations can make us question our boundaries, and when parent and child roles reverse, things can get sticky.

For this person, she’s caught between her money and her parent’s expectations.

Let’s see what happened…

AITA for reducing my parent’s “allowance” by whatever amount they share with my siblings?

“My parents live in a less developed country than I do. My siblings and I all live in North America or Europe.

When I got my new job I did my budget and saw that I could send home roughly $1,300 a month without it affecting my personal comfort.

I would still be able to save for my future and my mom and dad could retire.

So when I was home I set up a joint account for us.

That way I could see is they needed more and make sure that they were not getting scammed or anything.

This is when she realizes something’s off…

After about a year and a half I started noticing that there was a $200 transfer every month.

I asked them about it and they said my brother was having difficulties with his budget so they were helping him out.

My brother doesn’t need help. He is a scholarship student.

He actually receives a stipend from my home government to study abroad. What he wants is money to party.

She decides to do something about it…

So I reduced the amount I give them by $200.

Obviously they do not need it if they can afford to give it away every month.

My mom called me when she noticed and was yelling at me for being a crappy daughter and sister.

I asked her to tell me exactly how much money they contributed to my party fund when I was away for school.

Just so you know the answer is $0.00.

They also tried to talk me out of attending university in Canada.

I’m not sure how common the idea of filial piety is in other cultures but it’s a big deal in mine. She went off about it.

I told her that they didn’t need the money and I had better ways to spend $200 than to gift it to my brother so he could get drunk with his friends more.

She said that I am treating them like children by restricting how they spend their money.

She stands her ground…

I replied that I was not going to subsidize my brother through them.

And that from now on the amount they got from me would be $1,100.

And that if they sent him money again I would know and reduce their money by that amount going forward.

My brother called me to chew me out about cutting off his money from our parents. I said that I hadn’t.

And she had some words for her brother, too…

He was welcome to tell our parents to go back to back breaking jobs at their age to pay for his partying in London.

Then they would have my money to live off of and their wages to pay for his drinking.

My boyfriend is on my side. As are many of my friends.

Most of my family and people from my culture think I am being a jerk.

However for the last two months my parents have only been spending on themselves.”

Let’s take to Reddit to see what every said in the comments.

This commenter praises her for taking a stand.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another Reddit user questions whether any of this is fair.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Most commenters agreed on this point.

Source: Reddit/AITA

In my opinion, this person is already pretty generous with her parents.

She’s not obligated to give her brother money, too!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.