May 15, 2024 at 11:21 pm

Her Daughters Secretly Invited Grandparents The Family Cut Off Contact With, And Now Her Siblings Are Furious With Her For Not Punishing Them

by Ryan McCarthy

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels

Everyone knows that fights with your family hurt more than fights with anyone else. No one knows them like you do, and no one knows you like they do.

And after years of fighting, some people decide the only way to protect their mental health is to cut contact with their family altogether, sometimes even having to cut their parents out of their life!

But family dynamics only get more complicated when not all of the siblings cut contact with their parents!

Unfortunately for this user, that’s exactly what happened when her siblings were tired of a lifetime of their parents favoring OP and her children.

And while OP said she understood their frustration, her siblings said a line was crossed when her daughters secretly invited their grandparents to a family picnic without their permission!

Was OP wrong by refusing to punish them? See for yourself!

AITA for not punishing my daughters for inviting their grandparents to a family picnic against others’ wishes?

I(34f) have four older siblings: M(41f), L(39m), K(37f), and D(36m). About a year and a half ago, M, L, and D went pretty much no contact with our parents.

K went low contact over our parents favoring my daughters out of all the grandchildren and according to them, favoring me as well when we were growing up.

I knew my parents would give my kids lots of extras and offer me help with gifts when we didn’t need it without doing the same for the others

At the time I had the view that what they did with their money or paid attention to wasn’t any of my business. I couldn’t help if they favored me growing up or my children now.

After her siblings cut contact, she began to understand why they were so upset over the favoritism her kids received…

My mother went from calling me to just talk or hang out to needing me or my husband to run errands for them constantly.

Go over to their house to help them, take our father to his medical appointments, asked my husband to do maintenance around their house and yard.

Things M and L primarily did for them. I understood how it would make them upset to do all of that for them just for our parents to give my daughters extra money, skip other events for my daughters’ activities, help me with gifts when we make more than any of my siblings… I got it.

That was pretty wrong of our parents so I apologized to my siblings.

And while OP said she was right in the thick of her family drama, she explained her kids had no idea what the fighting was about.

My daughters (15 and 13) know that their grandparents are having some issues with their aunts and uncles but they don’t know the exact reason why.

I thought it would be harmful to them to tell. They’re the only ones that visit their grandparents and they know their grandparents don’t show up to functions at the others’ houses.

Over the weekend M hosted a picnic. It was at a public park you can rent pavilions. To make a long story short, our parents showed up.

When OP’s siblings demanded an explanation, their parents said it was actually OP’s daughters who invited them!

M asked what they were doing there and they said my daughters invited them. I asked my girls about it and they said since it was at a park it should be fine.

No one made a scene but afterwards M and L asked me what I planned to do about it since my daughters broke everyone else’s boundaries.

I said I wasn’t going to do anything because I do think the girls have a point- it was at a public park and I won’t punish them for wanting to see their grandparents.

My siblings are pretty much doubling down that they shouldn’t have been invited and they’re aren’t talking to me as much since I’m not addressing it.

AITA for not punishing my daughters?

If the daughters didn’t know about the fight, they shouldn’t be punished, but considering they are teenagers, they should know they can’t just invite people to events that they didn’t organize!

Reddit said from the sounds of it, OP’s parents completely failed their duties as parents, and OP was only following in their steps!

Source: Reddit/AITA

And many believe OP wasn’t as upset at the preferential treatment as she was saying.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Others agreed, saying the only time she really cared is when her parents started making her do the chores her siblings now refused to do for them!

Source: Reddit/AITA

And finally, this user understood OP not wanting her kids to feel guilt over their grandparents’ behavior, but said OP’s reasons were probably far from the right ones!

Source: Reddit/AITA

If her kids are in their teens, they probably already have an idea what the whole fight is about.

You can’t keep family secrets from the kids forever!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.