Trying to find the time (and energy) to get everything done around the house can be difficult when both parents work full-time.

Finding a way to split up the chores that work for everyone is important.

When one spouse throws a wrench in a working system, it can lead not just to things not getting done, but resentment as well.

In this story, OP switched to third shift and is now upset that her husband asked that she take on more of the household chores since he now has to manage everything for the kids.

It is a difficult situation to be sure, let’s see if she is the AH or not.

AITA For not agreeing to my husband’s new chore list after I switched my work hours without his approval

My husband (38M) and I (37F) have been married for 9 years and have 2 kids (8 & 6). He works a hybrid schedule so he’s home 2-3 days a week.

I’m a nurse at an understaffed hospital. Due to that staffing shortage, I was offered to temporarily switch my work hours to the overnight shift.

It came with a nice bump in pay which could really help us out financially.

I’m sure the money would be nice, but working third shift is going to have a big impact on the whole family.

My husband was very much against it because of the changes it would make to our day-to-day lives. I initially declined the offer but they countered with an even higher pay bump, so I took it.

It’s been 5 months since I changed hours and my husband hates it.

My hours are now 10pm-8am M-Thu and midnight-9am Sunday morning. I usually make it home just in time to see the kids off to school, run some errands or get things done at home in the morning, then sleep until the kids’ bedtime and head to work.

I like to think I’ve gotten pretty efficient at it since the change, but my husband disagrees.

Of course, she thinks she has gotten pretty efficient, her husband is picking up all the slack.

I won’t lie, he has had to pick up a lot of kid-related things that we used to share.

Pretty much any rides they need are done by him. Any weekday activities he takes care of. Now that the kids are done with school we have them in a summer daycare program and he does all the drop-offs and pick-ups.

He’s been complaining to me ever since the kids’ school year ended that this isn’t working for him anymore.

He keeps asking when I can switch my hours back. I told him that the original plan was 6-8 months so it could be soon, but it’s only been 5 months.

She is sounding pretty selfish right here.

If I’m being honest, I don’t know if I want to switch back.

I’m making and saving a lot more money. Once I adjusted to the sleep schedule, I feel like I actually have more energy and can get more stuff done when I get home from work.

This past weekend, my husband practically begged me to ask my supervisor when I can switch my hours back.

I finally told him that I’m not sure if I want to do that.

He flipped out on me.

He told me this isn’t what he signed up for when we got married.

He told me he feels lied to because not only did I accept the offer without his “final approval” but now I’m going back on my word that it would be temporary.

He said that if I’m going to keep my current night shift, then I need to do more things at home since I have the whole place to myself during the day.

OP asks what more she can do around the help, the husband gives her a list.

I asked him what more he thinks I should do and he actually made a list. He put pretty much all the yard work on there, which is usually stuff he takes care of and that I don’t know how to do.

I told him I don’t know how to do all of that stuff and he told me “If I can learn how to fold a fitted sheet, you can learn how to mow the lawn.”

I told him that doesn’t seem like a fair division of labor and he told me that he’s taken on all the kid stuff so I need to do more of everything else.

I told him that doing manual labor after I worked all night isn’t going to work for me and he told me to change my hours back then.

AITAH?

To me, OP was the AH as soon as she took the schedule that she knew would disrupt everyone’s lives.

She should have known that making this change would impact other areas of her life.

This is one of those times when OP needs to realize that actions have consequences.

Maybe I’m wrong, let’s see what other Redditors have to say.

This is so true. Working third shift is a major change that impacts everyone.

Perfect summary of the situation right here.

Right! Yard work is not that difficult. She’s a nurse but can’t figure this out? Please.

She needs to start pulling her weight and stop making excuses.

Weird how her life got easier when she offloaded all the chores to her family.

Actions have consequences.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.