Staying with your significant other’s family members for the first time can be awkward, even in the best of situations.

What happens when you arrive at their house and it is absolutely filthy?

That’s what this person is facing, let’s see how she handled it.

AITA For not staying at my boyfriend’s mom’s house while we visit?

So I (30F) am visiting my boyfriend’s (43M) family out of state for the first time.

I’ve briefly met them over the phone but not in person.

Sounds like a pleasant trip.

The plan was to stay at his mom’s house, which I wasn’t opposed to, until we got there.

He hasn’t been able to go home in a few years, and his mom’s house has allegedly always been pristinely clean and well kept but that was just not the case.

Gross.

The house was honestly in a state of disrepair, smelled horribly of dog and dog urine.

She lets the dog go in the garage because she can’t handle going outside at night (she lives in the middle of nowhere and there is zero danger).

The dog would not shut up the entire first night.

She should not have this dog and she can’t handle it.

Secondly there is zero phone reception there and she has no internet.

My boyfriend “guaranteed” he had cell service last time he was there.

Zero.

We had to drive several miles just to use our phones and plan what we were doing over the weekend.

I can’t imagine dealing with this.

But the real last straw was the shower.

I already don’t like staying, bathing, and getting ready in other peoples houses but this shower was the most repulsive looking shower I have ever seen.

She has very hard well water and clearly has never scoured the shower once.

Brown and black from top to bottom.

It was filthy.

I couldn’t do it.

I certainly can’t blame her.

I told my boyfriend I want to stay in a hotel for the rest of the time here.

He was upset but agreed and we booked one, but has been kind of grumpy about it since then, I can tell.

I’m not trying to be insulting.

I just feel like I was given a false assumption about where we were staying and it was nothing like that.

His mom was also upset but I literally would be going 4 days without bathing.

AITA?

What an awful situation to be faced with, for both this woman and her boyfriend.

Let’s see if the commenters have any suggestions on how to handle it.

It can be hard dealing with an aging parent.

Nobody can be expected to stay there.

Yes, be kind but firm.

Yup, this home sounds pretty bad.

This person points out that her boyfriend is having trouble dealing with the situation.

You can’t expect someone to stay the night in a filthy house.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.