You remember those days, right?

Your parents were going out of town for a couple of days and decided that you were responsible and/or old enough to hold down the fort at home by yourself.

The days of nothingness looked like bliss.

This kid’s bliss was interrupted by a decidedly hateful neighbor deciding it was time to force their house into compliance.

Read on to find out how he exacted his revenge on a worthy target.

HOA rules need to be followed? Suuuure.

The setup: Our tale begins in my teen years about 10-11 years ago. It was summer and my parents wanted to go on vacation.

Me being a 16 year old dummy with both a gaming addiction and seeing my que to living the free independent unsupervised life, must like a house cat with an open-door-for-two-weeks-opportunity, offered to house- and dog-sit while they and my sister went on vacation.

Some important background information is probably needed here, since else someone here might call my parents neglectful for leaving an 16 year old unsupervised for two weeks: I’m from a way safer and secure place than the US, we lived in the suburb and I was taught most lifeskills by the time I was 12.

The only dangers I could be exposed to would be alcohol poisoning, and strains to my wrist from the insane amount of rounds I would force my poor member through during the two weeks.

You know, the typical threats for a boy in a country in which 16 year olds can buy beer.

The complaints started right away.

The boy and the Karenmegasaurus Rex: Week one.

While gaming took 90% of my time away and I developed the day and night schedule of a backend developer, I still did all the chores around the house with a few exceptions since I deemed they could wait.

I check the mailbox and there is a handwritten letter with runes of the ancient.

Using my old doctors notes as a rosetta stone, I deciphered, that it was from the president of our equivalent of an HOA.

Imagine an HOA with a fifth of the power the typical HOA in US would have. A Hawkeye of the HOA Avengers, if it was in a sport it would only receive participation awards, you get the point.

The Moria written tomb said that the grass of my front law was too tall according to regulations. I went out, took a look at the grass, which was maybe 1 cm too tall (that’s the equivalent of a jellybean to my freedom measurement folks).

Same day I cut the grass, cause might as well do so to keep the peace.

And they didn’t stop.

The day after, a new letter written by the same Shakespeare wannabe came. I grabbed my Indiana Jones Hat and performed an heathen ritual in the shed to read the message.

The roses in my front yard were going too far out through the fence by 15 cm (that’s an average sized carrot in muricana).

I once again comply.

On the third day of s***mas, the true cause of annoyance said to me: my backyards bushes were too tall.

Here is where I finally get irritated, since you have to enter my parents property to check the bushes height.

With Satan’s three commandments in hand I go and visit my direct neighbour, who I knew were in the HOA board.

I ask her about the Gutterspeak letters and she looks through them and laughs. Those are from the banshee of Arrakis aka the megakaren who lived 10 houses further down the street.

She had been kicked out of the HOA board after she poisoned 3 dogs in the neighbourhood with rat poison laced treats.

Not wanting to deal with her after she threw rocks at me when I was trick or treating as a child, I decided to let the case rest and leave my bushes be untrimmed like certain minority pornactresses often do.

As teenagers do, he decided to have some friends over.

The boy, the planted bomb and the instigation: Fast forward a week into my parents vacation.

As any teenager would I started to plan a party, and like the good kid I was, I went around to all my nearby neighbours and warned them about the potential noise, which parties tend to create.

At some point here, in my post-nut-clarity, I remembered the saying “b*****s be fading, but a good counterstrike match lasts forever.”

Instead of holding a straight up party I decided to invite friends over to a lan-party, so we could play counterstrike source, and quickly replace the white blood cells in our body with whatever was in the knockoff energy drinks.

The cops showed up.

Fast forward to said lan-party: my parents dining room smells like teenage farts, axe bodyspray, sweat and all chips in the world mixed together. Typical lan stuff.

1 am there is a loud knock on the door. I go out, to see two cops looking at me with a surprised pikachu face.

I look at them with the same amount of confusion.

Cop 1: “We have a report, that there is a loud party going on, and there might be several minors doing drugs here”.

Me: “Does energy drinks count as drugs?”

Cop 2: “No?”

Me “Then I have no idea what you are talking about”.

Cop 1: “we had a frantic woman calling constantly, which is why we came, but it seems we are more of a disturbance than you guys are”

At the same time one of my friends can be heard in the background:

“OP get in here!! The bomb has been planted and you are the only one alive”

Cop 1: “Counterstrike?”

Me: “Counterstrike..”

“We will leave you to it then”.

Cops left and we lost the match. Unrelated tho.

She was…upset they weren’t arrested.

Two days after, I get another knock on my door.

There she is, the bane of all good, she who must not be mentioned without carrying Miraak’s Sword and a towel on you.

She starts screaming that me and my drug party kept her up all night, and that I’m a horrible brat, who needs to tend to my bushes if my parents doesnt want to lose the house.

At this point I stop her and remind her that: 1. The HOA doesn’t have the power to do that. They hardly have the power to do anything except approve of houseowners requests. 2. That she was kicked out of the HOA due to the poison incident. 3. That I didn’t even have a party 4. that she needs to stay away from my backyard.

She got even madder and started screaming that she would have me and my parents arrested, and that the poisoned treats were meant for my dog as well.

I slammed the door on her faster than hyperspacing from Argos Rho.

She had royally pissed me off. No one threatens my good boy. No one.

He brought the whole neighborhood up to speed.

Perfect legal pettiness: So now we are at our final act. My revenge. I

had about 4 days before my parents returned, so I made them count. I called the police and visited my real HOA neighbour and got all the necessary approvals.

Then I went over and talked with the neighbours surrounding her house. I would do all the yard work, which involved loud equipment around her house.

Legally, we were allowed to make noise from 8am till 8pm with yard work, but its considered rude to do it after 5pm. That didnt stop me tho.

Like a druid on paragon level 256 I just kept sending leaves and grass flying, as if all the bushes, trees and odd plants had pissed in my grandfathers ashes.

She came out and screamed at me, even threw a rock at me, it brought back old memories but I didnt care. I was gonna make as much legal sound as possible.

Whenever she complained I just told her, that their plants were not up to HOA standard.

It was time for a real party.

Friday rolls around. It’s 8 am. Me and my friends are gathered in front of her house. We have all the tools ready. Purchased by the bloodcoin of my insanity induced labour the two days prior.

It’s time to make her pay.

We turn on the speaker, the bbq and crack up a beer. Speaker is set to the exact legal limit of how loud the music is allowed to be.

Most her neighbours come out and join during the day, since I had invited them while killbilling their plants.

She screamed constantly for an hour, called the cops twice, which left after seeing my permits from themselves and the HOA.

That’s right b****. If you want a party to complain about, then you shall get the finest party of the shire just outside of your house.

We kept it up to the exact time limit.

Yet another neighbor who would have been better off keeping their mouth shut.

Reddit’s going to have some thoughts on this one for sure!

Justice for the dogs!

Back in the 90s, this happened all the time.

I mean seriously.

Reddit was pretty split on this opinion.

Always grab your receipts when you can.

The dogs, though?

I hope she got jail time herself.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.