When you marry into a family that’s not similar to yours, it can be hard to adjust.

For this woman, she’s tried her best to adjust to her husband’s more affectionate family, but her in-laws don’t think she’s trying hard enough.

Here’s the full story…

AITA for asking my in-laws to respect my way of being the way that I respect theirs?

I did not grow up in a shiny happy vacation family that ate dinner together and sang on car rides or anything.

I didn’t have cousins sleepovers, Christmas traditions or whatever.

And because of that, I am a lot more quiet, internal, etc. than my spouse’s family.

They are the polar opposite.

People stop by at their home unannounced and they’re welcomed with open arms.

There are so many kids running around all the time laughing and playing and the adults watching them warmly with love.

This took some getting used to…

They all share secrets and stories and are very huggy and all that.

And they’ve been super welcoming to me but have started to be very pushy when it comes to some things.

For example at a dinner recently one of the kids wanted to show us the song she learned. Everyone sang along together. I sat quietly and listened.

Spouse’s aunt kept elbowing me to join in. I smiled and clapped for her but did not sing.

That same day, one of the younger kids was going around hugging everyone goodbye. I stooped down and gave her a high five and she toddled off.

The mom told me that was weird and to just hug the kid.

Well. A bunch of the women my age were planning a girls only camping trip and talking all about all the fun and girly things they want to do, all of the bonding experiences they wanted.

I am not interested, so I declined politely but did say they could use our camping supplies.

It could have ended there…

The organizer got frustrated and roped in my MIL, both of them teamed up on me that they’re trying on their end to get me to open up and be part of the family more.

I said that was so nice of them, but that I have opened up a LOT and they need to understand that it all goes two ways.

I have given in so much and they know a lot more than I ever wanted, I’ve done a lot of things with group events, one on ones, shopping, getting hair done, wedding stuff, etc.

I would have preferred strongly to just not do any of it but I knew it was a give and take thing and challenged myself to open up.

I explained this and said I appreciate them and I know it’s difficult for them, but reminded them that it’s difficult for me as well, and I’m trying as hard as I can.

My therapist and I work on this all the time.

This really bothered my MIL and she went to my husband to complain. He defended me and told her that I’ve done nothing wrong.

He reiterated this to me as well and said that he thinks I have done a LOT more than he expected me to and he’s proud of me.

But it didn’t sit well with MIL, who reached out to tell me that she was upset that after 8 years, I still treat them like we aren’t family.

But to me, I do treat them as family.

Let’s get into the comments…

This Reddit user thinks her in-laws are too pushy.

Another commenter sees both sides.

While this person is in full support of OP.

And another user feels bad for MIL!

Respect and communication are always the best choices!

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.