Some women have more difficult pregnancy and childbirth experiences than others.

In today’s story, one woman wants to wait to have children, but her boyfriend wants them now.

The problem is that a friend spoke up for the woman and may have gone too far.

Let’s see how the story plays out…

AITA for telling my husbands friend that he was selfish and hurting his wife?

My (32F) husband (36M), has a high school friend (36M). Let’s call him John.

John is a typical jock. Athletic, good looking, popular with girls.

But I’ve been around enough to see and hear him being questionable towards women.

To the story: we were in a group of friends, and I was introducing them to my new baby (0F).

She introduces us to Janet.

Important info: I had a miserable pregnancy.

The topic of having kids came up, and John started saying how him and his fiancee (32F) would be the next.

More important information: his fiancee, Janet, is an amazing lady. Kind, smart, gentle.

Recently, she has been through a lot: lost her dad and her health has been terrible.

Not going to say what, but she has a disease that causes headaches, weakness, dizzy spells, fainting, extreme fatigue.

She has become more and more emotionally and physically dependent on him.

On top of that she (and I) come from another country. It means her family and support system are not here.

John won’t let Janet speak for herself.

Back to the situation: I asked her if they planned to have kids after the wedding, that is in 2 years. I thought that because it gives her time to recover.

He doesn’t let her answer and say they agreed they would only get married after having kids.

I am surprised for two reasons: she always said she wanted kids after marriage and her health is not good.

She doesn’t say anything, but looks sad.

She calls John abusive.

I argue that it doesn’t seem like a good plan, and that a pregnancy now could put her health at risk.

He said her “fertility window is almost closing” and that is now or never.

I start getting angry, and we discuss.

I ended up saying he is selfish and this decision is only based on his wants and needs and is hurting her.

Basically a form of abuse.

The room gets quiet and we ended up leaving.

She wonders if she messed up.

My husband later agreed with me, but said it was not my place to say anything.

Our friends are mixed, saying someone had to say it, but that I was too harsh.

I feel maybe was not my place and I was being a busybody, but after being through a hard pregnancy myself, without my family, I know how hard it is.

And my husband is a great supportive guy.

Meanwhile John leaves her alone all the time to party and enjoy life.

He is dooming someone that trusts him blindly into a horrible situation.

AITA?

Janet needs to be able to decide for herself when she is ready to have children.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted…

This reader thinks she could’ve phrased it differently.

Another reader thinks she phrased it just right.

This reader thinks what she said was important for Janet to hear.

Another person thinks she and John were both in the wrong.

This reader doesn’t think John would be a good dad.

It wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk to Janet when John’s not around.

I personally hope she leaves him instead of getting pregnant.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.