Helping your family can feel like the right thing to do, but it gets complicated when they refuse to help themselves.

So, what would you do if you had been supporting a struggling sibling for years, only for them to turn on you when you helped someone else? Would you keep helping? Or would you stop and let them figure it out on their own from now on?

In the following story, a sister finds herself trapped in this tough situation and wonders if she’s wrong for wanting to stop helping. Here’s what’s happening.

WIBTA if I stopped helping my sister?

I (33) have a sister (27) and a brother (21).

I am married and have 2 daughters (twins, age 6). My husband is a home builder, and I am a realtor. My husband and I have done well for ourselves.

My sister is a cosmetologist, and she is struggling hard. She has 3 children, ages 5, 3, and 1. Her husband lost his job 2 years ago and hasn’t worked since. They lost their apartment and are currently living in a camper trailer.

The family has helped them through the entire ordeal.

Since her older 2 children are girls, we often send her nice clothes our children have grown out of because her children are growing into them.

I’ve also helped my sister financially buying her food, paying her power bill when she couldn’t pay it, etc.

My husband, dad, and brother also completely set up everything for her camper ( power, plumbing, etc). My parents have tried to help financially as well.

It’s hard to help those who don’t want to help themselves.

However they aren’t helping themselves. They are constantly spending money on frivolous things, their credit is wrecked so they can’t get anything nicer.

My sister is still paying on student loans. They are drowning in debt and haven’t stopped digging yet. Also, their yard looks like a Toys R Us and a garbage truck collided and blew up. There are toys and trash everywhere.

My brother, on the other hand, has followed our dad into construction. He is a framer and our dad does plumbing. He has been doing well for himself and has saved up a decent chunk of change.

Her brother just needed a temporary loan, which he repaid.

So, my brother and my dad called and told me they wanted a house that was in foreclosure. I dug into it and got everything together. We put in an offer. We were the highest bidders, and the offer was accepted.

My brother didn’t have the full cash amount ( we were aware and planned to help already) but had most of it, so my husband and I, along with my father, threw in the rest. My brother got a loan and immediately paid us back.

The house needs some work, but it isn’t awful. Just small stuff.

Here’s where the drama starts.

My sister found out we helped, and now she is furious that we would give him money and buy a house for him but wouldn’t do the same for her.

We tried to explain that he paid us back immediately afterward, and he just needed the advance cash right then.

She has been very angry and has told the entire family that we are picking favorites.

This is where she’s at now.

In her mind, our brother got a house, but she is left to fend for herself. The family knows what actually happened, and she is angry that no one has taken her side as well.

I’ve done everything in my power to help her, but we aren’t just going to buy her a house. They have proven that they aren’t financially responsible and wouldn’t be able to keep up with the regular expenses of being a homeowner.

All of this has left a sour taste in my mouth, and I am thinking about just not even helping her anymore if this is how she is going to act.

WIBTA?

Wow! That’s a really tough place to be in.

Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit have to say about it.

Sister or not, this person is savage.

Very true. No amount of help seems like enough for the sister.

This! The brother wasn’t “bought” a house – it was a loan.

As this person points out, any job is better than no job.

It’s time to walk away and let them figure it out for once in their lives.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.