Living with roommates can be a great way to save money and hopefully build some friendships, but only if everything goes well.

What would you do if one of the roommates was letting her significant other stay in the house when she was not there?

That is the situation the roommates in this story are dealing with, and they don’t think the significant other should be there.

AITA for telling my roommate that she is not allowed to leave her partner in the house unattended?

Me and my roommates (five of us total) moved into a four bedroom house 2 months ago (four of us 25F, and one 25M).

The four others lived together for 2-3 years, while I lived alone for that time.

Sounds like a good setup.

Their house was not rent controlled (Ontario) and the landlord was going to double their rent, and I was tired of paying $2400 per month as a graduate student, so we all decided to move into a 3-story, 4-bedroom house.

We have known each other since first year of university, and two of the girls (let’s call them Rebecca and Dani) are long-term partners, so they share one room.

About 3 months ago, before I lived with them, Macy (the third girl) started dating a girl named Carol.

I found out from Rebecca and Dani that Macy had let Carol (who Macy had known for two weeks) stay in their apartment alone for a few hours, and when Rebecca and Dani arrived at home, they found their door wide open.

I wouldn’t be comfortable giving a stranger the code to get in.

Macy also gave Carol the key code to enter their apartment.

Since I moved in with them, Carol is often at our house and it’s starting to feel like we have a sixth roommate.

Macy has let Carol cook in the kitchen, take Zoom calls in the dining room, and change into different outfits in the living room, all while Macy is somewhere else in the house.

Four  hours is a long time.

Yesterday, Macy let Carol stay at our house while Macy left for four hours.

Rebecca, Dani, and I felt uncomfortable with this, as Carol is basically a stranger to us.

Carol stayed in Macy’s room the majority of the time, but she did use our kitchen briefly.

We told Macy that we were uncomfortable with this, but she told us we were being unreasonable.

She said she pays for her room so she should be able to use it however she wants, and that includes leaving guests alone in her room while she is out of the house.

We told her that since three of us (the majority) are uncomfortable with guests being unattended in the house that she is not allowed to leave Carol alone in her room, and that we would submit official complaints to the landlord if she does it again.

Honestly, it is her home as much as anybody’s.

Macy is upset with us because she thinks we are being unreasonable, so her and Carol have left to stay at Carol’s apartment for a few days (Carol has one roommate if that’s relevant).

We think that it’s unfair to leave a stranger alone in our home – what if we had to leave the house while Carol was in our home without Macy?

I have valuables and private items in my room that I don’t want a guest to find, and Carol already has a history of snooping.

It’s also uncomfortable to find a guest using your kitchen as if it’s theirs, or just coming home to what you believe is an empty house to find a surprise guest alone in your house.

The fifth roommate (25M) has not been home to comment on this situation.

AITA?

I can really see both sides of this situation, but I would definitely get a lock on my room door and maybe even put up a camera.

Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments had to say.

This commenter says it is reasonable not to want a stranger there.

There are lots of potential problems here.

Here is a suggestion to write up guidelines.

This commenter points out a number of reasons why this is not ok.

This person says it is reasonable to have limits like this.

It would be really awkward having a stranger hanging out in your home.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.