Parenting adult children means walking the line between guidance and trust, offering safety while fostering independence. Of course, every parent’s idea of “independence” varies widely.

This mother is used to letting her kids spread their wings, but one day, the mother of her daughter’s significant calls her concerned about her son being away too much. Her frustrations end up revealing a deeper struggle waiting to be addressed.

Read on for the full story.

EM wants me to stop treating my young adult children as adults.

I have two young adult children living at home, ages 18 and 19. They both work and go to college.

I trust my kids and their decision-making skills. When they graduated high school and turned 18, new rules went into place.

The new rules aim to provide as much independence and accountability as possible, while still providing a safety net.

No curfew — just call me and let me know if you’ll be out all night so I don’t worry. You can call me anytime for a pick-up, no questions asked — just don’t drink and drive.

Yes, your SO can sleep over or come for the weekend; Just let me know what’s going on. Pay a small rent during the summer when you’re working full-time and contribute to the car insurance.

So far, the rules have worked out quite well for the family.

We have chores divided, and we all work together. I tell them if they’re being jerks, and they listen; In turn, I listen to them.

There’s very little fighting or arguing in my house. This is their time to spread their wings and learn how to be responsible adults, with me as a safety net.

Lately, one of my kids’ SOs has been spending a lot of time at my house. He’s here pretty much all the time.

One day, she received a phone call from someone she didn’t expect.

Two days ago, I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. When I answered, it was my daughter’s boyfriend’s mother.

Me = Me
EM = Entitled Mom

Me: Hello?

The phone call started off pretty intense.

EM: You need to tell my kid he isn’t allowed over your house anymore!

Me: Who is this?

EM: This is Tommy’s mother!

Me: (I already know where this is going) Oh, Tommy’s mom! I have to say, you’ve raised a great kid. He’s always polite and respectful. In fact—

This mother wasn’t one for flattery.

EM: Look! I don’t care WHAT you think about my kid! He is never at home! He isn’t spending any time with meeee!

Me: Okay? There isn’t much I can do about that.

EM: Yes, there is! Tell him he can’t come over to your house anymore! I want him home!

Then things escalated even further.

EM: AND YOU! YOU SET A BAD EXAMPLE FOR MY SON! YOUR DAUGHTER HAS NO CURFEW, AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING HOW nIcE IT IS AT YOUR HOUSE! I miiissssss him and want him home!

Me: (speaking very lowly and basically growling into the phone) Are you done yelling at me?

EM: ……… (I think I stunned her into silence.)

She continues to disarm the angry mother.

Me: I’ll take that as a yes. Do you trust the way you raised your son?

EM: What???

Me: It’s a simple question. Do you trust the way you raised your son?

EM: OF COURSE I DO! What does that have to do with anything?

Me: Do you trust him to make good decisions?

EM: YES! Yes, of course. (She’s starting to calm down now.)

Then her attitude turns to compassion.

Me: Mother to mother, I know things aren’t okay at your house right now. (Her husband drinks a lot.) I’m trying to give your child a safe place when things aren’t okay at home.

(She starts to cut me off at this point, but I won’t let her.)

Me: It’s not your fault.

EM: …….

Me: He throws your son out for days at a time sometimes, doesn’t he?

EM: Yes. (I can hear her choking back tears.)

So she extends an olive branch to the hurting mother.

Me: Do you need someone to talk to? Would you want to go out to lunch? That way, you can feel safer knowing whose house your son is at and that he’s safe.

EM: That would be okay.

It turns out, this mother needed support and badly.

We were on the phone for about an hour after that.

What started out as an EM situation turned out to be a scared woman feeling very, very alone.

Sorry there wasn’t any righteous retribution, but I think it turned out okay.

I’m going to try and get 19-year-old Tommy’s curfew changed from 10 PM to midnight, and maybe he can stay over for a weekend.

This conversation may have started with accusations and anger, but luckily it ended in compassion and common ground.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter is moved by the story, considering they were once in the young man’s position.

While her delivery may not be the most pleasant, it’s clear there’s a lot going on for this mother.

It’s wholesome stories like these that help restore your faith in humanity!

The traits she’s fostering in her kids will pay off well – both for the kids and for their family!

What began as a frustrated mother’s tirade ended with an unexpected connection.

This story proves that under a tough exterior, you’ll never know what you’ll find.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.