In today’s story, college sweethearts are facing a high-stakes decision: get married or break up.

While they’re not sure they’re in love, if they don’t get married, they may never see each other again. What should they do?

Read on for the story.

WIBTA for telling my friend not to marry his girlfriend and to break up with her?

I (24M) have a friend (24M), who we’ll call Jay. Jay is an American citizen but moved here was he was around 12 from a different country.

His girlfriend (23F), let’s call her Sara, is also from this same country, but is not a citizen. They met in college about 2 years ago.

Yesterday, Jay told me that Sara told him that they have to get married now. Otherwise, she will break up with him.

Their relationship just hit the visa fast track.

She is currently in graduate school (the relationship is long distance currently) and will have to either find a job, get married, or go back to her home country after her degree is done next year.

According to Jay, she says that the type of job she wants (finance), is not easily available to someone who isn’t a US Citizen or Green Card holder.

I think it’s relevant to say here that Sara’s family are extremely wealthy. When Sara was in college, she bought herself a new Mercedes, for example. Jay is not ultra-wealthy like this, but has a high paying job.

His dating life sounds like luxury hostage negotiations.

Jay and Sara have, in my opinion, a tenuous relationship.

She has “broken up” with him many times over the past 2 years, always over small arguments, at least according to Jay. He then asks to get back together a week or so later.

She also doesn’t allow him to go anywhere outside of work if there are other women present.

I’m paraphrasing here, but Jay said that “when Sara wants something, she gets it, or there will be problems.”

Jay also mentioned that he thinks Sara’s father might be pressuring her to get married.

Jay is thinking about marrying Sara.

According to Jay, Sara says that she would do this for him, and so he should do it for her. If he doesn’t do it, then he doesn’t love her, and they should break up.

Jay told me that he doesn’t want to break up with her, so he might go along and do this.

I asked him if he loved her, and her didn’t really give me a straight answer.

I asked him if he had any other friends to talk to about this, and he said he would only talk about this with me and a single mutual friend of ours.

OP thinks marrying Sara is a mistake.

We are both planning on getting dinner with him today and talking with him.

Both myself and the mutual friend agree that this would be a bad idea.

WIBTA if I told Jay not to go through with this plan, even if it means he will have to break up with her?

A marriage ultimatum paired with a history of control and tension? This doesn’t sound like true love.

Reddit wasted no time sharing feelings about this story…

This person thinks the answer is clear…

This person says sharing his opinion is totally reasonable.

And this person thinks if would be way worse if he DIDN’T share his opinion.

When “I do” comes with control issues and visa pressure, maybe it’s better to say, “I don’t.”

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.