Navigating dietary restrictions during family meals is always a delicate dance.

For one couple, Thanksgiving took an awkward turn when a supposedly gluten-free dish wasn’t so gluten-free after all—and the sister-in-law’s response left a bitter aftertaste.

Read on for the story.

WIBTA if I declined any future dinner invitations from my sister-in-law?

It’s no secret that my husband doesn’t eat wheat or gluten.

My brother asks if restaurants have any food he can eat before suggesting we go there.

We bring our own dishes to home cooked meals if it’s something he can’t eat.

He declines foods he can’t have and states it’s because of the gluten.

He doesn’t make it his whole personality, but he doesn’t dance around it when it comes up.

For Thanksgiving yesterday, we volunteered to bring the dressing (stuffing) and some cornbread and so it would be gluten free.

Thanksgiving teamwork at its finest.

When discussing the meal prior, my sister-in-law asked if my husband was able to eat sweet potato casserole.

We asked if it was just sweet potatoes and marshmallow.

She said that and butter.

He said that he’d need to take some dairy pills first (lactose intolerant too), but otherwise it should be fine, and that dairy doesn’t make him sick the way gluten does.

Again, reminding s-i-l about his intolerance.

The day before Thanksgiving, my son wanted me to confirm there would be sweet potatoes because he was really looking forward to them.

I texted and asked, and she said yes, but she was adding walnuts as well.

No big deal.

Sweet potatoes for the win!

So it came to pass that my husband got a serving of sweet potatoes.

Something seemed off, so he asked if there was flour.

Yes there was.

And her tone seemed smug to both of us.

Made an already awkward meal even more awkward, and we excused ourselves soon after.

Here’s where I’m questioning if I’d be a jerk for refusing to eat there ever again.

She’s taken on the majority of the responsibility for my aging mother.

She has Parkinson’s Alzheimer’s Dementia.

She’s been having more frequent and longer lasting episodes of confusion and anger.

Sweet potatoes with a side of smug—hard pass.

There’s a caretaker there throughout the day, but she’s responsible overnight, which means getting up multiple times a night to change diapers or reassure and comfort.

I know s-i-l is under a lot of stress.

And it’s possible we misinterpreted her tone when she told us about the flour.

So WIBTA if I never eat another meal there?

Refusing future invitations may not be ideal, but can anyone blame them for considering it?

This person on Reddit thinks she needs to consider what SIL is going through.

This person thinks it probably has more to do with her responsibilities than anything else.

This person has some cooking criticisms.

When gluten-free sweet potatoes come with a side of hostility, maybe it’s time to RSVP “no.”

Still, I think there’s room for negotiating.

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