Finances can be tricky in romantic relationships.

Many couples eventually decide to pool their finances, but some couples choose to keep their finances separate.

In today’s story, the couple mainly keeps their finances separate, and the girlfriend asked her boyfriend to cosign on a loan.

Now he’s wondering if he messed up by making her jump through so many hoops before he was willing to say yes.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA, My S/O asked me to co-sign a loan and I said yes but… Now she is saying I’m unsupportive and unfair.

So I got into a pretty heated argument with my S/O and am seriously questioning if I am the AH?

About two weeks ago my significant other asked me to co-sign for a pretty significant loan, (between 100-150k HELOC against her house) so that she could consolidate her debts.

She has helped me consolidate my debts (15-20k)by co-signing in the past, so, of course I said yes.

They haven’t combined their finances.

Some general background info.

We’ve been together for about 10 years and have a pretty good relationship despite some financial disagreements.

Due to that, we have not combined our finances and she pays her bills and I pay mine.

We do share some expenses, as we have a child together and we live in my house.

He had a few conditions that his significant other didn’t like.

This is where things get difficult.

While I agreed to co-sign, I had some conditions.

I requested that we write down what we were agreeing to and how much we’d be borrowing.

I asked her to spell out her income to debt. As, I have an idea but don’t really know her finances.

She said it was demeaning to her to make her list them out, however she did it.

They continued to discuss the options.

Then we talked about some what-if scenarios, and ultimately, she said that her plan was to sell an investment property within the next five years to pay off the loan.

I didn’t make that a condition she offered it, so I wanted to write that in the agreement.

Additionally she agreed to make me a beneficiary on a life insurance policy should anything happen to her.

He eventually agreed.

After looking at everything I felt she would be able to comfortably pay the note and her regular bills.

Ultimately it would be about 105-110k in debts.

However, she wanted to ask for a 150k, so that she wasn’t maxing out the line of credit.

So as I wrote up the agreement, I included the sentence “No money can be withdrawn without both parties approval.”

His significant other thought he was asking for too much.

That was just too much for her and she said it was a non-starter and completely unfair.

It was her house and she would be paying back the loan.

I offered to write down all the debts we’d discussed to be included so the 110k would be included automatically.

She said she would never ask that of me and I wasn’t supporting her by including that.

So here I am asking for internet strangers to shed some perspective… am I the AH?

Where is this relationship headed?

If they’re going to get married one day or continue to live together, they should probably be supporting each other without so many conditions.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This reader advises against cosigning on the loan.

Here’s another vote for not cosigning.

These are good questions.

It seems that everyone thinks it’s a bad idea to cosign.

This sounds like a good idea to me!

Here’s a suggestion about how to respond to the girlfriend.

He never should’ve agreed to cosign.

He was right in that, at least.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.