What would you do if your significant other asked if their elderly mother could move in with you?

Saying yes might seem like the right thing to do, but it’s not always easy, as one woman discovered in today’s story.

She’s been putting up with her mother-in-law’s quirks for awhile now, but she finally can’t take it any more.

Now she’s wondering if ignoring her mother-in-law is heartless or the only option.

Let’s read all the details to decide.

AITA For ignoring my MIL wails.

30 f recently moved into a bigger place with my partner 38m with his elderly mother since her husband passed 2 years ago.

Shes a very nice old woman, had a stroke in 2010, liked to read and do crossword puzzles, tidy things up around the place, go for walks etc.

A year after her husband passed, it became apparent she couldnt live alone.

I was very clear that I will not be a caretaker. I am coming out of my own trauma and grief and its not something Im willing to do.

It does sound like she’s very nice to her mother-in-law.

I am VERY empathetic towards her.

Making sure to get her out, taking her places she enjoys, scheduling her hair appointments, keeping her company so she can feel at least some sort of semblance.

When I take her out for lunch or coffee everything is fine.

In public.

But the mother-in-law is troublesome at home.

She wont eat.

She keeps her phone off, doesn’t want to talk to her brother or older son.

Understandable. My partner started calling me to get into contact with his mother , so I shut that down.

She doesnt want to learn how to do anything for herself.

She started moaning and wailing in the early morning and and night.

There are more problems.

My partner talked to her about its affecting OUR sleep.

She stops. She is nice, but she is very much a nightmare patient.

Making everything difficult for the staff, with her hysterics to needles.

Wont take vitamins we buy that are easy for her to ingest because “she doesnt like gummies.”

Empathy has its limits, especially when it starts feeling like a full-time job.

When hes here, shes fine.

When Im not working and Im here, she starts moaning and wailing in intervals.

She communicates just fine. Her speech hasnt been impeded.

I have my own mental health issues and do not have the space.

She refuses speaking to a grief counsler.

I put on my earbuds and ignore it.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Her older son living in another state feels she is being irrational.

But of course she is, she’s feeling a lot very late in her life.

I myself just dont have emotional space to assist with high emotional bursts between working physically demanding job and struggling with my own mental health and grief.

If she expresses with her words whats going on, I am more than happy to help. I sort of feel bad but sort of not.

AITA?

There’s a difference between being supportive and being emotionally drained. But is tuning her out reasonable or just plain cruel?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say…

Most people said NTA.

This person said no one is really the jerk here.

And this person leans more toward Hubby being the jerk.

Noise-canceling earbuds: saving sanity or killing compassion?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.