Getting divorced when you have kids makes life very complicated, especially when your vacation plans don’t line up with the child custody agreement.

What would you do if your ex wanted to take your child on vacation during a time when you were supposed to have child custody? Would you allow it, or would you insist that you stick to the child custody agreement?

In today’s story, one woman does not want to give in to her ex’s demands to modify the child custody agreement.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA – ex-husband wants a vacation before my travel that will limit my parenting time

My ex reached out asking to take our daughter on a vacation, unsure of where to go and unsure of the exact travel dates, but probably Florida June 20-26.

He will have her starting on June 18 due to his normal parenting schedule.

I have a planned personal trip starting on June 18, and then have a work trip starting on June 28.

Because of his request for me to give up the 24 & 25 to take her on this trip, and my work trip requires me to give up 3.5 days as well, I will only see her for 1-2 days in a span of 2.5 weeks.

It’s not really possible for her ex’s plan to work.

In addition, or parenting agreement states that vacation requests cannot exceed 7 days, including any regular parenting time. Which he would be in violation of (6/18-6/26).

And I can’t take her the days before his trip, because I made personal plans to be out of town and can’t change the dates (6/18-6/21).

In addition, his initial request didn’t point this out, so he didn’t even read the agreement to make sure his request was compliant when he asked.

They’re at a stand off.

I told him I want to be flexible, but I can’t and I don’t want to go so long without seeing my daughter.

He claims his dates are “locked in” and can’t be moved.

Which really means, his girlfriend agreed on the dates with her ex-husband (they don’t seem to get along at all), but he didn’t communicate anything to me until after they were finalized.

She got her lawyer involved.

I did send the email thread to my lawyer, we have plans to go to mediation next month because he wants his parenting schedule to match his girlfriend’s, and I’m not comfortable with that – also, my daughter sleeps on an air mattress at her house and has for months, which my ex won’t do anything about it until they move in later this summer.

But that’s a side issue to this one….

I told him I won’t give him the days due to being in violation of our agreement and my concern about not seeing my daughter enough within the timeframe.

Am I being a jerk about this?

Lawyers probably love situations like this. They get paid for parents to bicker about vacation time.

I don’t think she’s wrong, but I also think it wouldn’t be that big of a deal for her to let her ex take her daughter on vacation since it sounds like she has plans of her own for part of that time anyway.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

A “kid” in this situation weighs in.

It seems like a double standard.

It may not be the vacation that she has a problem with.

It’ll be good for her daughter to go on vacation.

Her ex is not to blame.

She’s not seeing this situation clearly.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.