Only someone who has lost a baby knows how much it hurts. Everyone else’s job is to be compassionate and respectful of their pain.

In this case, though, a woman’s own brother and best friend totally ignored her suffering and named their twins after her deceased baby.

She decided to cut contact with them, but is now wondering if she took it too far.

Read the story and analyze the situation.

AITA For cutting off my brother over his daughter’s name?

I (27, F) and my sister-in-law (32, F) found out that we were pregnant only 2 weeks apart from each other.

Me and her were best friends at the time.

We went baby shopping and everything together.

She was happy and excited to have a baby.

Me and my husband at the time were so excited that we picked the name Riley when I was only 10 weeks.

Our crib bedding, baby book, even newborn outfit had the name Riley on it.

Unfortunately, I lost my baby 3 months before my due date resulting in a stillbirth.

I then found out im infertile after.

I was crushed.

I always wanted to be a mom.

This was devastating for her, but she still wanted to support her friend and sister-in-law.

I was still happy for my brother and sister in law, although seeing her get to still be pregnant hurt.

They found out they were having twin girls and pushed through my pain and would still ask her about the pregnancy, like baby shower, room decor and names.

I noticed she was being really secretive about the names.

I didn’t think much of it at the time.

Until I went to the hospital overjoyed but also with my heart in shambles still, to meet my nieces for the first time.

But something prevented her from feeling joy in that moment.

They hand me one girl, I ask what’s her name.

“Rae-lynn”.

I then see my brother holding the other and asked hers.

The room fell silent.

Her mom who knew none the wiser, said “Ry-lee”.

I know the spelling isn’t the same but the way I almost fell to my knees.

Seeing a newborn baby in perfect health with the same name as mine I had lost only 3 months earlier.

It was like a sick joke, and naturally, she wasn’t happy about it.

It was hard enough holding a healthy baby that wasn’t mine at the time but knowing I would hear the same name as mine all the time sent me into a deep depression.

I really tried hard to still be a good aunt but the sting of hearing that name and seeing a beautiful, healthy baby attached to it felt like me losing my baby all over again.

Someone even came into my job with a kid named Riley and I broke down in tears.

The experience of losing her baby deeply wounded her. But they don’t seem to understand that.

My brother and sister in law have complained at lot about me not being as present with my nieces as I am with my other brother’s children.

The name sticks out like a sore thumb, everyone knows but it’s just ignored.

They even asked me for my baby’s stuff and I gave it to them.

Her friend asked why the name was spelled wrong and her sister told her it was my baby’s name and I was nice enough to give them my deceased baby’s items.

But she never got over what they did.

Finally it’s been a few years.

It’s still hard for me to be around them but not as much because of the name and grief but more because someone who was my best friend and my own brother would be willing to hurt me like that.

It all came to a head when they pushed me to answer why I’m more involved with my other brother’s children.

(I see the twins 4 to 5 times a year and my other brother’s kids around once a month).

I felt cornered by them so I finally broke the silence and said it was because of the name Rylee.

They didn’t take it well.

My sister in law said “it’s a family name” referring to not Rylee but Leigh because that’s her mother’s middle name.

My brother also said it doesn’t matter because they can’t steal a baby name when I don’t even have a baby.

This was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her. But she feels guilty.

So I know years have passed (the twins are 5 now) and if I went no contact back then it would be understandable, but I feel like I really gave it my best shot.

I can’t handle it anymore, but my nieces also know who I am and would probably miss me.

AITA?

She can’t set herself on fire to keep them warm.

Let’s see if Reddit has any insight into this situation.

A reader shares their thoughts.

This commenter shares their opinion.

This is beautiful.

I agree.

Exactly.

Another reader chimes in.

Their taking her feelings into consideration for once is long overdue.

She owes this much to her daughter and herself.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.