Most shoplifters don’t come across as criminal masterminds, but some really take it to another level of absurdity.

So, what would you do if a pensioner kept coming into your shop to pinch the same exact snack, thinking nobody would notice?

Would you let it go? Or would you finally confront him and warn him of what would happen?

In the following story, retail workers encounter this exact dilemma and decide to confront the thief.

Here’s what happened.

The Pillock Pensioner Pinching Penguins

Penguin: A flightless aquatic bird or a chocolate bar sold in packs in the U.K.

Peddle: Slang term for sell

Pensioner: A person old enough to be getting a pension, slang for an old person

Pinching: Slang term for stealing

Pillock: Slang term for an idiot

Here’s where the story starts.

It was a particularly pleasant day in the place where we peddle provisions, and I was placing products in the provided places.

A male pensioner proceeded to prod my person and expressed his peeve that his preferred pleasurable provision of packs of Penguins was not provided.

After he pootled past, we proceeded to pursue the peculiarities of the pensioner’s predicament.

After some investigating, they figured out what was happening.

Our probe into the non present Penguins, placed pinching as providing the predicament of Penguins non presence.

We persevered with our probe into the non present packs of Penguins and placed the pillock pensioner pinching the precious Penguins!

When the pilfering perpetrator next presented his person to purloin packs of Penguins, we pursued the pillock and persuaded him to pay for his pinched packs of Penguins or his particulars would be passed to the Police for prosecution.

Wow! That guy really wanted his chocolate.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about this story.

This person used the words for a tongue twister.

Here’s someone who also uses a lot of “p” words.

That about sums it up!

This reader liked the story and the use of a specific word.

That was some story!

Glad they figured out the mystery.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.