Parents often set aside money for their children so when they are adults they can get their life started more easily.

What would you do if your mom had an account set aside for you with money in it, but when you asked for it for a down payment on the house, she said no.

That is what happened to the daughter in this story, so she is thinking about tricking her mom into giving her the money, but she would feel bad about it.

WIBTA for tricking my mom into giving me money?

*** UTMA stands for Uniform Transfer To Minor’s Act. These accounts essentially are “gifts” to minors when they come of age (anywhere between 18-25). Parents put money into them, and these accounts usually have tax benefits for the custodian. ***

Every relationship is different.

My mom (61F) and I (29F) have a really strange relationship. We’re really close in some aspects – we hang out frequently, get along really well most times, but she’s also always been controlling over what I can and cannot do.

Currently I live about 15 minutes from her, but I’ve been engaged for a few years to my fiancé and would like to start my life with him.

This is the type of thing that the money should be used for.

The main message here is that there’s a good amount of money in this account now, and I’m in a position where I need funds to put down on our future home.

I have also already attempted without the help of mom and dad a few months ago, and essentially in order for me to afford the home with interest rates the way they are right now in California is with a bigger down payment.

I’m sure Mom doesn’t want her to move so far away.

So, being completely optimistic that maybe there’s a way to afford a home, I asked mom if she’d be willing to follow up with this account and if I could potentially use some of the funds to help me buy a modest house an hour away (since the cost is so much cheaper).

She got completely defensive and basically said she’s only willing to give me a couple grand from that account, and to not even consider that money as mine since I owed her for helping me pay for college.

Didn’t she set the money aside for her?

I’ve tried on multiple occasions to reason with her and come to a compromise, but ultimately it’s pointless as I know just how stubborn she can be.

It looks like my only option is to get her signature on these papers, but she said the only way she’d sign is if I transferred it all back to her and she’ll decide what I can have out of it.

While the money is for her, if Mom still controls it, it is hers.

Her current compromise is $10k, but that’s really only a fraction of it. My plan was to just give her half to be done with it and ease my conscience, but if I told her that, she’d refuse to sign.

My dad wants no part of this and told us to just figure it out and get it out of this account already.

AITA?

It is hard to say without knowing more about these accounts, but it sounds like Mom still legally has control over the money, so it is hers to do with what she wants and being deceptive to get it is not a good idea.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about the situation.

This is very good information.

This person says she needs to talk to a lawyer.

Maybe she didn’t go to college.

This is a good question.

She should not be lying to her mom to get the money that should be hers.

It should be her money, but lying about it is never a good idea.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who deleted his son’s entire YouTube account after he found out he’d skipped school.