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Gratitude has a shelf life in some relationships, and one woman just watched hers expire in real time.

She took in a close friend after the friend’s aunt kicked her out, treating her like a daughter, and never once asking for rent or utilities in return.

The early months were full of genuine closeness, with the friend even calling her and her husband mom and dad.

However, somewhere along the way, that closeness faded into distance, small dishonesty, and a boyfriend the friend now stays with on alternating nights.

But with her water bill skyrocketing and her patience plummeting, the homeowner begins to realize just how unsustainable this arrangement really is.

Keep reading for the full story.

Renting to a “friend”

My close friend of two years temporarily moved in four months ago after her aunt kicked her out.

She is only here usually for a few nights a week.

Regardless of the duration of her stay, she makes her presence very known.

She does take super long showers and washes clothes almost every night.

She is like a daughter to me, we have a 10+ year age gap. She has always been very grateful for the help since she doesn’t have parents either.

Lately, though, her behavior has been much different.

But recently she hasn’t been talking to us much or engaging at all. Has been lying about stupid things, and she has a boyfriend that she stays with the other nights during the week.

She recently told me she stays at both houses (mine and boyfriend’s) so she doesn’t feel bad about using us both.

She’s starting to feel her kindness for this friend wane.

She isn’t the brightest 20-something year old, but I’m at a point to where I might start charging her for a third of the water bill. ($100 every three months.)

I have the funds, but it’s just the principle. I have always been a giving person.

She’s slowly realizing her friend has always been a “taking” type.

She does use our laundry detergent and coffee pods without replenishing.

I just feel like my kindness is getting taken advantage of.

This “landlord” knows what others might say, but she assures everyone that it wasn’t always like this.

I know everyone says don’t rent to friends, but when this first happened it was all temporary, and you would think at that age she would want her own place with her boyfriend and dog that is at her aunt’s.

She was calling my husband and I mom and dad at one point, we were so close.

Now she’s torn on what to do next.

I don’t want to necessarily kick her out. It is just my husband and I, and we have a four bedroom house.

But it’s just the principle, she constantly says how broke she is, but she is working a full time job.

I just feel like I’m babying her and she is taking us for granted a little.

Something has got to give with this arrangement.

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Reddit is sure to have an idea or two.

Setting some stronger boundaries is pretty much non-negotiable.

Her friend needs to know this can’t go on forever.

At a certain point, this friend will have to learn to succeed (or fail) on her own.

This commenter thinks “renting” is too generous of a word to describe what’s happening here.

A full-time job and constant complaints about being broke don’t really line up with someone who can’t be bothered to replace a bottle of detergent or a box of coffee pods every once in a while.

Being called mom and dad early on made this feel like family, but family usually involves some level of mutual effort, not just mutual convenience for one side.

A modest water bill charge would be the first honest boundary this friendship has had in months.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.