Sharing a home often means respecting each other’s boundaries.

This woman lives with a roommate who has a friend often visiting and staying over. She wasn’t bothered by this, but she started feeling uncomfortable when she learned that her roommate gave the friend a spare key. When OP brought up her concern, the situation became more complicated than she expected.

Read the full story below. It’s a relatable story because, sometimes, a small disagreement can quickly become awkward when both people have different ideas about boundaries.

AITA I told my roommate to not give the key to her friend

My roommate and I have been living together for some months now.

Recently, her friend has been coming over and staying the night with her which doesn’t bother me at all.

But coming home from work one day, I noticed her friend was here before any of us got home.

My roommate and I have the same job and finished at the same time.

This woman was upset that her roommate didn’t inform her about giving her spare key to her friend.

Anyway, so I thought that was weird and had doubts about my roommate giving her the spare key.

So I went to check if it was still in its place only to find that it was missing.

But still, I didn’t want to jump into conclusions until I saw that it was in my roommate’s desk, meaning she did give it to her.

I was kind of upset that she didn’t at least tell me that she would give it to her, especially since I used to tell her whether I was even inviting friends over (not saying she should do that).

She told her roommate she wasn’t comfortable with someone having a key to their apartment.

So the fact that she couldn’t even tell me, “Hey, I gave her the spare key. Hope that’s okay with you,” was weird. We live in the same space after all.

So after her friend went back to her house, I asked my roommate if she had given her the keys.

Although by now, I was sure of it because they were back at their original place. She said yes.

I told her that her friends are welcome anytime, but I was just not comfortable with her giving keys to someone unless it was her own family.

To which she replied that that girl was like a sister to her.

Her roommate’s mom called her and explained that they trust the friend.

My parents know my roommate and I have had somewhat of a close relationship with her since we moved, same with me and her parents.

So I didn’t want to tell them anything about this since it’s not that big of a deal really.

Just a simple misunderstanding between me and her that didn’t need to involve anyone. Apparently, she didn’t share the same sentiment.

She told her mom about it who, a day later, called me to explain the situation by saying she trusts that girl and I have nothing to worry about.

I got embarrassed cause her mom is a sweet lady.

Her roommate was still upset with what she said.

After that, I spoke to my roommate normally but she clearly got upset.

So do you think that what she did was normal and wasn’t that serious?

And I shouldn’t have said anything to her in the first or are my fee valid?

So, AITA?

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In my opinion, the concern here isn’t really about the friend being trustworthy, but about giving someone access to a shared home without discussing it first. OP wasn’t trying to prevent her roommate from having guests. She simply wanted to have a say in who else had a key.

Let’s see the comments of other online users on this story.

Here’s an honest opinion.

This user makes a good point.

Another one chimes in.

Plain and simple.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about neighbors who couldn’t ignore reckless neighborhood driving after an accident occurred.

Finally, people are siding with OP.

Living together means keeping each other in the loop.