e Loaned His Brother $30,000 to “Get on His Feet”—Then Two Years Later His Wife Demanded the Promissory Note Be Enforced
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Imagine having more than enough money to support your family and your lifestyle. If a family member who never asks for anything was in such a desperate situation that they came to you to ask for a loan, would you give them the money, loan them the money expecting them to pay it back, or refuse to help them at all?
In this story, one couple is in this exact situation. The woman who wrote it explains that she and her husband agreed to loan his brother money, but now, two years later, they disagree about whether or not they should ask him to pay them back.
Keep reading for all the details.
AITA for pushing my husband to forgive the loan for the money we gave to his brother?
My husband and I (42F and 43M) have been married for 12 years with 3 kids together.
We dated for a bit in high school then amicably broke up after graduation and then got back together in our late 20s.
Because we’re from a small town and have known each other for so long, we have really strong bonds with each other’s families as well. I have four siblings and he has two.
They’re pretty well off.
We both grew up in regular lower-middle class families in a small town.
I am a hairstylist and my husband is a physician.
We’re low-key people so our lives are still very normal despite his higher income (regular house, 2 regular cars, public school for the kids, that type of thing).
Her brother-in-law’s family is struggling.
Long story short is this — my husband’s brother & wife have gone through a tough time these past few years.
His wife’s mom was taking care of their kids (infant + toddler) while both parents worked.
His wife’s mom unfortunately passed away so they lost their childcare + his wife fell into a depression and wasn’t able to work or care for the kids.
They were in a tough spot for about 2 years (lost income due to the job + additional childcare payments each month) and are now coming out of this hole.
They decided to help.
They were on the verge of losing their home when my brother-in-law turned to my husband and (for the first time ever) asked for help.
My husband and I agreed on $30K.
It’s been about two years and my sister-in-law is now in a better place, able to find work, the kids have more secure and affordable childcare, and overall things are looking up.
Her husband seems to want the money back.
My husband mentioned to me he was gonna ask his brother about setting up a payment plan to get the money back.
And I told him that it would be better to just forgive the “loan”.
My brother-in-law works a regular job and $30K is just a huge amount of money to pay back on a regular income.
I truly feel that the gesture of brotherhood is worth so much more than the money. My in-laws are such good people and I really believe in helping your family as much as you can.
Her husband does not see her perspective.
My husband disagreed and we got into discussing it and I said I think it’s selfish to ask for the money back. It’s a HUGE thing for them and not an issue for us.
I told him they’ll have to restructure their whole lives in order to make these payments whereas we will continue with the same standard of living with/without the money.
My husband is very defensive/upset about this.
I love her generous heart. Since this is truly a one off and it’s not like the brother-in-law is constantly asking for money, since it sounds like they really don’t need the money back, I think they should just forgive the loan. It seems like the nice thing to do.
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Let’s see if Reddit agrees.
This person is on her husband’s side.
Another person makes a good point.
This person thinks they do need to talk to the brother.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who doesn’t want to help his sister cover their aging father’s groceries.
Everyone seems to be on the husband’s side.
It’s true that the money they loaned out was given as a loan with the intention that it would be paid back. It’s also true that they have the extra money because of her husband’s job not her job, so basically, they money was earned by her husband.
That said, they’re married, and assuming they pool their income, they both need to make this decision together.
I love her generous nature, but her husband’s opinion matters too.
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