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Having a great birthday party can be a lot of fun, especially when all your friends can be there for you.

What would you do if your friend helped you to plan a costume birthday party, but then she refused to bring you the costume on the big day because she wasn’t feeling it?

That is what happened to the girl in this story, so she finally had to go pick her friend up in order to get her to give her the costume.

To me, it sounds like her friend is very selfish and manipulative. Read the entire story here and see what you think.

AITA for thinking my best friend should’ve put aside her mental health for my Sweet 16?

I(16f) was going to have my birthday party for my “sweet sixteen” by hosting a small get-together with my close friends, where we cosplayed and went to go watch a movie together, which was based off one of my childhood interests.

Everyone looks at birthdays differently.

My best friend(15f) is a fanatic for birthday parties, and thinks it is a really important MONTH for a person. That being said, I never really cared for birthdays since my parents didn’t want to host them or make it a big thing while I was growing up.

She had convinced me this day is a big day and I should really make a bigger deal out of it since I have a group of friends now to celebrate with this year, so I got pretty excited for it.

How disappointing.

For context, I probably wouldn’t have cared for it too much if someone else pushed it, but I have known this girl (lets call her peanut) since childhood, so what she said holds a lot of value to me.

My costume required a corset and makeup, which Peanut said she would let me borrow hers. The morning of my birthday, she called me and told me she doesn’t want to come anymore because she’s feeling “icky”.

Her friend seems selfish.

Icky, in our terms, is somewhat like the feeling you get when it’s really hot and humid, and you’re wearing full sleeves that itch into the crevices of your arm, but a mental equivalent of that I suppose.

I told her that it’s fine and she could just come over to drop off the clothes and doesn’t need to stay, and she said she doesn’t want to come unless I go pick her up from her house.

This is entirely unreasonable.

I found this unreasonable, since the movie theater was right next to my house, I was already dressed in full cosplay, and she lived an hour away where I would have to take public transport.

We live in a country where it’s blazing hot ALL the time and she KNOWS I have a weird obsession with cleanliness so after I already showered it would feel terrible to get all sweaty and tired AND I’m in FULL COSPLAY!

Wow, this is very manipulative.

Peanut said if I don’t come pick her up she would not be coming at all. I was afraid if I said anything wrong she would even refuse to lend me the cosplay things, so calmly, but admittedly in a bit of an annoyed tone, I expressed my concerns with her request and how I didn’t want to do that, trying to ask for a compromise.

In the end she didn’t budge and insisted that unless I come over to pick her up and watch her get ready she wouldn’t be leaving her house, but if I did, she would attend.

I can see how this would ruin the whole day.

So, I had to comply and do what she asked and I felt like absolute crap for the rest of the day because I was sweaty, disrespected, and felt like a doormat.

I also felt guilty because I understand that you cannot force someone to go out when they’re feeling uncomfortable, but I just find it strange how the discomfort fully disappeared the moment I inconvenienced myself for no apparent reason for her irrational wishes.

No way, she did nothing wrong.

I also feel guilty for doubting my best friend like this.

I don’t know if I’m in the wrong for being mad or she is.

AITA?

The fact that her friend made such a big deal about her birthday and then essentially ruined it is just awful.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

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This commenter says the girl is not her friend.

She really is being manipulative.

Yeah, this doesn’t make sense.

Here is someone with some good advice.

This person says that she should have let her friend stay home, but that isn’t always easy.

Her friend is very manipulative and is using her mental health concerns to get her way.

She should have just let her friend stay home and miss the party, though.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.