She Cut Off Two Lifelong Friends Who Criticized Her Every Move—Then Was Consumed by Guilt Over “Abandoning” the Past
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Friendship is supposed to feel like a break from judgment, not a performance review.
One woman found herself stuck in a troubling dynamic with two separate friends, both lonely, both once close to her, and both seemingly incapable of letting an interaction pass without critiquing it afterward.
One friend called her after her own wedding just to deliver feedback on how she should’ve behaved, while the other sent pre-approved topic lists before every hangout and followed up with complaints about unspoken rules broken.
She finally ended both friendships, expecting guilt to hit hard given how isolated these two already were. Instead, she felt something closer to relief.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITAH for ditching my lonely (insufferable) friend?
Take this friend of mine. We were inseparable in college. And she was the centre of every social event.
Lately, though, she’s not enjoying her company near as much as she used to.
But throughout the years, she has fallen out with every single friend. She is so lonely. But she’s so annoying.
She constantly gives unsolicited feedback about our interactions and how I behaved.
Her friend seems to have absolutely no boundaries.
After my wedding, she called me to give me her feedback, both positive and negative, including how she expected me to have behaved towards her.
I ended my friendship with her. I feel awful for dumping her, it feels so good.
Then there’s her other friend.
And another friend I no longer speak to who is also lonely. Before every meet up, they send me a list of acceptable topics and behaviour. (E.g. don’t eat in front of me.)
And afterwards, they give me unsolicited feedback (always negative), because of some unspoken rule I broke.
AITAH?
It sounds like she’s attracting the wrong kinds of friends.
What did Reddit have to say?
Maybe her two bad friends are great for each other.
It’s time to be a bit more selective in the friend-making process.
Is it possible this woman is somehow a magnet for controlling people?
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If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who had to sprint to the bathroom the moment he got home, then emerged to find his partner upset he didn’t greet her properly.
Friendships should be uplifting, not draining.
Friendship shouldn’t come with a post-event debrief every single time, yet that’s exactly the kind of territory both of these relationships were creeping into.
Getting feedback after your own wedding is just plain unhinged no matter how you slice it, and so is sending topic restrictions before a hangout.
No one would blame this woman for feeling relief after cutting ties with two people that were bringing her more stress and anxiety than enjoyment.
This isn’t how you treat your friends.
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