Friend hangouts need some give-and-take.

This one starts feeling lopsided.

So after dinner ends, two friends slowly nurse beers for nearly an hour.

Their sober friend finally wants out.

See why patience runs dry first.

AITA for asking my friends to leave the restaurant after they sat for almost an hour nursing beers?

My friends, John and Jane, and I were supposed to meet in my town for a festival, but it got rained out.

I offered to drive toward them instead (about an hour for me) so we could still hang out and get dinner.

Everyone agreed, and we met at a restaurant John picked—not a bar, just a dinner spot—but it was super crowded and loud.

None of us could really hear each other talking.

They were there for a really long time.

We had a great meal and finished up.

While we were boxing up our leftovers, John (kindly) paid for dinner.

Then he and Jane ordered another beer.

I don’t drink, so I was just sitting there.

About 45 minutes passed with them slowly sipping their beers—John was mostly on his phone—and I finally said, “Okay, you guys gotta chug those, let’s go for a walk or something.”

But they weren’t down with that timeline.

Ten more minutes passed and they still weren’t even halfway through. I finally said, “Alright, we’re leaving—you can leave the beers.”

John walked downstairs to finish his at the bar, and Jane said, “Well, he paid for it—he wants to finish it.”

I responded, “It’s been almost an hour. It’s loud, hot, and you’ve both been on your phones.”

And now he’s feeling reflective.

I left feeling like they were annoyed with me, but honestly, I was frustrated.

They both know I don’t drink and that I have sensory issues—it’s hard for me to sit in chaotic environments like that, especially doing nothing and being ignored.

When I first asked them to finish their beers, I suggested we walk around downtown so we could actually do something and still hang out, but they didn’t seem interested.

I had driven an hour to meet them and tried to be flexible after our original plan got rained out, but it felt like they weren’t meeting me halfway.

It’s not new.

This isn’t a one-time thing either.

They regularly invite me to stay the night—even though they know I have two dogs and two cats at home, and I always tell them I can’t leave my animals overnight.

Even on the Fourth of July, after I explained that I stay home because fireworks are hard on my pets, they kept asking me to come out again.

It’s like my answers or boundaries aren’t enough, and they just ignore or push past them.

And we can go DEEPER.

Another layer: whenever plans change—especially if I’m the one suggesting something different—John always makes little digs or sarcastic comments about how he doesn’t enjoy the new plan as much.

It’s subtle, but it adds up and makes me feel like a bad friend just for asking for something different or more comfortable for me.

So, who’s in the right?

I guess I’m just feeling weird right now.

Like… am I reading too much into things? Am I being overly sensitive?

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Or are these red flags in a friendship that’s become kind of one-sided?

I’m trying to be self-aware here, but I also feel kind of disrespected. So—AITA?

Who is overreacting in this friendship?

Let’s read the comments on Reddit:

This person thinks everyone messed up.

In general, nobody in the story looked good.

But as a lot of people pointed out…

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who let her brother maintain a shared car for years, and doesn’t want to start doing it herself now that he has his own car.

You can just go.

She had already driven an hour and suggested quieter ways to keep hanging out, but her friends seemed content staying put and scrolling.

The frustration felt bigger because she had a history of feeling like her limits and preferences were treated as optional.

Nothing says quality time like being trapped at the table while everyone else dates their phones.