October 6, 2026 at 2:10 pm

She Was Excited For The Cultural Experience Of Studying In Japan, But Ended Up Wasting It Chasing A Crush And Bullying Another Girl Instead

by Kyra Piperides

A street in Japan

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When you go to college, plenty of folk are excited about the prospect of studying abroad. Whether that’s for a full year or just the one semester, the opportunity to further your studies, but also your life experience, by living and studying within a whole different country and culture is something that some students jump at the chance of. Because later in life, when you have a full time job and maybe even a family to support, your chances to be this free aren’t going to come easy, or cheap.

The student in this story was keen to study overseas for a semester, choosing to go to Japan. Of course, she didn’t know the language, so ended up making friends with a group of other exchange students. And everything was fine, until she started crushing on a guy in the group, who was close with one of the other girls.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for not buying a movie ticket for a girl in my friend group?

I (20, female) am studying abroad in Japan for a semester, and I made a friend group that hangs out almost every day.

My crush (20, male), “Dustin,” is in the group. He was introduced by another girl (19, female), “Mel.”

Mel is a total pick me. She wears tight clothes to draw attention to her chest, is really touchy, and acts ditzy on purpose.

I’ll admit, when I first met her I thought she was really cute, so I let my guard down. The problem is she’s constantly flirting with Dustin.

Let’s see how this is affecting the friendships.

Since they met before I did, she never lets me forget it. They’re really close, and she’ll leave me out of conversations to talk to him about games or manga I don’t know.

Even after I told her I liked him, and she said she’d support me, nothing changed.

She texts him separately, eats with him alone, and when she invites me she’ll sit next to him so I’m stuck across from them while she shares her food with him because she “doesn’t eat much.” It honestly feels like she’s rubbing in how much closer they are.

Even when I ask Dustin to hang out, he usually invites Mel too. I’ve talked to her privately multiple times asking her to back off.

But then something happened to make things even worse.

The breaking point was when we went drinking. I got too drunk, threw up, and some got on her.

She started crying, so Dustin spent the whole walk back comforting her. At that point I couldn’t stand being around her anymore.

My other friends also think she’s a pick me and are tired of her. She claims she wants more girl friends, but we constantly watched her flirt with Dustin and other guys.

So we came up with a way to make her leave the group on her own.

Let’s see what this plan entailed.

We had a movie day planned, and my friend Linda offered to buy everyone’s tickets ahead of time. She bought everyone’s except Mel’s.

The day of the movie, Mel messaged asking when and where to meet, but we ignored her. She ended up finding us at the theater but had to sit a few rows away by herself. It was a little immature, but after everything, I felt like she deserved it.

After that, she slowly stopped reaching out to us. Dustin wondered why she didn’t sit with us, but we brushed it off and said she’d been hanging out with another guy beforehand.

He believed it, since she flirts with other guys in our exchange program too.

But this plan didn’t go down well with everyone.

Honestly, once she stopped talking to us I felt like I could finally breathe, and now I can finally start advancing my relationship with Dustin without her interfering.

But when I told my friends back home, they said I was an ******* for basically ghosting someone in a foreign country.

In my defence, she’s one of the only people in our group learning Japanese, so she can get around just fine without us.
I think my friends and I were justified, but my friends back home are calling me a bully.

AITA?

Honestly, it really feels like she has a chip on her shoulder about Mel, who seemingly might like Dustin too.

This kind of behaviour, from everyone involved, feels like middle school – when actually, these are college students.

And the movies plan? Particularly juvenile.

Let’s see what folk on Reddit made of this.

This person agreed that this girl was being a bully.

Screenshot 2026 09 23 at 10.30.15 She Was Excited For The Cultural Experience Of Studying In Japan, But Ended Up Wasting It Chasing A Crush And Bullying Another Girl Instead

While others were shocked at her reaction to Mel being upset that she’d thrown up on her.

Screenshot 2026 09 23 at 10.29.57 She Was Excited For The Cultural Experience Of Studying In Japan, But Ended Up Wasting It Chasing A Crush And Bullying Another Girl Instead

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who feels badly about unknowingly encouraging her younger brother to play with bullies.

Meanwhile, this Redditor pointed out just how cruel they were being to Mel.

Screenshot 2026 09 23 at 10.30.39 She Was Excited For The Cultural Experience Of Studying In Japan, But Ended Up Wasting It Chasing A Crush And Bullying Another Girl Instead

One thing is for sure, this woman is jealous of Mel’s friendship with Dustin. And whether or not Mel is looking for something more than just friendship with the guy? That’s her prerogative, and none of this woman’s business. Sure, she has a crush on Dustin, but she’s not actually doing anything about it, which means this horrible treatment of another exchange student seems to be just for the sake of it.

Because let’s be real – by trying to force Mel out of the friend group, they are bullying her. They don’t like the way she acts or dresses, and so they’re ostracising her, all while they’re just exchange students in Japan together for ONE SEMESTER. Like, there’s not even time for this drama, they all just need to be enjoying the time they have there, not using this incredible opportunity to be bullies. This is so juvenile it’s unbelievable.

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Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

Connect with Kyra on Twitter/X and Instagram.