Husband Asks Wife to Use Her Shared Investment Money for Their Home Down Payment, But She Refuses to Break Her Promise to Friends
by Diana Whelan
One husband is hitting a major snag in he and his wife’s home-buying journey.
See, she’s been pooling cash with her four BFFs for a “group investment” fund, and now he’s suggesting she break up with that money to help with their down payment.
What happens next? Read on for the story.
AITA for asking my wife to spend all her savings?
I’m a 34 yr old M married to the love of my life a 33 yr old F. My wife is kind, nurturing, and motivated in her career. She does a lot for me at home since I work LONG hours.
We married 4 months ago. Dated for 8 yrs. We’re both easy going and have the same sense of humor and rarely argue.
I make 4x more money (I’m in Healthcare) but she makes a good salary as well. Since I make 4x what she does I tend to pay for most things (dinners, weekend trips, mall shopping) which I absolutely do not mind.
What a man.
With bigger purchases we pay for things together in proportion to what we make. She’s usually OK with paying her share of things (1/4 of the rent and groceries) and will sometimes offer to pay for dinners and dates.
She’s VERY close with her best friends (she has 4).They’re great people, But they’re basically attached to the hip and talk daily in a group chat. Which is fine, everyone needs a support system. I have similar friends.
Her and her 4 friends have a combined savings account together for “investing in something together.” They’ve each been putting in a few hundred dollars per month EACH.
Uhh, for what, a joint venture of best friend world domination?
I’ve known about this for years and didn’t love the idea initially, which I expressed. But she was adamant she wanted this and at the time we weren’t hurting for the money and it was ultimately her money and her decision.
We are now looking to buy a home (in one of the most expensive real-estate markets in the US) she expresses that she doesn’t have much in her own savings but has 20k of her own money tied in with her friends combined savings.
Over the last year they’ve been told by 2 financial advisors that 5 people attempting to invest together in real-estate or stocks or a business wasn’t a great idea.
Ah, the classic “I’m broke but my friends and I are all-in on a group investment” conundrum!
And they also recommended to split the funds to 5 separate accounts since the account is under 1 of the friend’s names and there are tax implications for having that amount of money to her name (100k).
The homes we’re looking at need around 60-70k for a down payment. I stated I was willing to spend nearly all my savings for the down payment for a home (50k). So I told her she should pull that money from her joint friends account to help with the down payment.
It’s a huge purchase and I don’t think it should be my burden alone. She got really upset and told me “I don’t want to touch that money, I promised my friends it would be for investing together, we should look for a less expensive home then, maybe a fixer upper” she then stated, “it would be easier for you to accrue the money back since you make so much more.”
Looks like there’s a plot twist in the home-buying saga.
This was VERY frustrating and I told her, “It’s unfair i have to spend nearly all my savings and you don’t. Your friend fund is stupid, and it’s stupid not to use that money for OUR future home.”
AITA for asking her to use HER OWN cash from her “friends” account, break that promise to her friends so we can buy a nice home together?
Talk about a love triangle: house vs. friends’ fund.
Let’s see what Reddit thinks about this clash of priorities!
Not surprisingly, they think the wife is being the jerk here.
This person says hubby needs to rethink buying a house with this psycho.
And this person says they couldn’t be married to someone like that.
This person agrees with all…the fund is DUMB, and so is the wife.
So, the question remains… who gets the first dibs on cash?
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
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