Have you ever spent a special occasion at someone else’s home and found that their traditions and behaviors feel completely alien to you?

We all have our own unique ways of celebrating special occasions, and many of these are handed down to us by previous generations.

But what about if you live in a different country to the one you were born in, and your local partner’s family do things that are virtually unrecognisable during the proceedings?

That’s what happened to the woman in this story, whose birthday became the excuse for some wholly unthoughtful behavior from her in-laws.

Read on to find out how this one went down.

AITA for not forgiving my SIL when she didn’t apologize for something she did?

A few weeks ago, it was my 31st birthday.

Last year, my brother-in-law (who is 25) used my birthday gathering to plan his own birthday party. To avoid a repeat, I decided not to make a big deal out of this year’s celebration.

I didn’t want to spend money on a party, and I didn’t want the attention to be diverted again.

Here’s how the celebration started…

We decided to celebrate at my in-laws’ house because they have more space. We invited my husband’s siblings and their partners.

They arrived late, around 4:30 PM, which is typical for this family and not a big deal.

Since I live in a foreign country, English isn’t the primary language. I know the language, but I find it hard to keep up with many fast conversations at once.

Everyone spoke in the local language throughout the evening, which made me feel disconnected & overstimulated.

Eventually, I gave up trying to keep up and started scrolling on my phone.

The situation got more stressful when it came to looking at pictures.

The issue began when my sister-in-law (29) asked if she could show her vacation pictures to everyone.

In my husband’s family, it’s common to share vacation photos at gatherings, but the way that my sister-in-law asked caught me off guard.

She asked for my permission in front of everyone, which made me feel obligated to say “yes” even though I found it rude to show vacation pictures at someone else’s birthday celebration.

I briefly excused myself to get coffee.

When I returned, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend asked to see our wedding photos, which they hadn’t yet seen.

My sister-in-law seemed disappointed, and she and my mother-in-law went to the kitchen, where they had a loud conversation that we could all hear from the living room.

She found out why the sister-in-law was so determined to show the vacation photos.

After viewing the wedding photos, we had dinner, and my sister-in-law again pushed for us to look at her vacation pictures.

She and her husband spent about an hour going through the pictures, explaining each one in detail. Again, it was in the local language, and I struggled to follow.

My husband noticed and told me to put my phone away, which frustrated me further.

The last picture they showed was a sonogram, and they announced their pregnancy.

They had many chances to announce this before or after that day, but they chose that moment.

It turns out that’s a clash of cultures.

I faked a smile, congratulated them, and excused myself to the bathroom.

My husband and I left soon after, and he didn’t understand why I was upset.

In his culture, it’s normal to announce major life milestones at others’ celebrations, but in my culture, it’s not.

We argued about it for the rest of the night and the next day.

But that was not the end of it.

An hour later, my sister-in-law sent me a text justifying their timing and laughing it off.

I responded, saying I was happy for them but hurt by the way they announced it.

She later responded, claiming they were hurt by my reaction and that my response had “cast a dark shadow” over their happiness. She didn’t apologize but continued to justify her actions.

Should I have simply forgiven her and moved on?

AITA?

Cultural differences are hard to overcome sometimes, and the family’s reaction suggests that this is a totally normal thing.

However, the least that the sister-in-law – and the woman’s husband – could have done was hear her out.

Let’s see what Reddit thought about this.

This person thought that, regardless of culture, these people showed their complete lack of care.

While this Redditor noticed something unusual in their behavior.

And others suggested that she make alternative plans for next year.

They should’ve showed a little tact. It is her birthday, after all.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.