Her Future In-Laws Refer To Her As A Gold Digger? Should Her Fiancee Set Them Straight?
Let’s just say up front that there are all kinds of relationship dynamics out there, and as long as everyone is on the same page and it works for the couple, it’s really none of anyone else’s business.
This woman doesn’t come from the kind of money that her fiancee’s does, and for some reason, his family has never let her forget it.
And even though they’ve felt the need to continually insinuate that she’s only interested in the relationship for the money, her fiancee has never bothered to correct them or stand up for her.
That’s even though recently they’ve been a single income household – her income – as he’s been unemployed and hasn’t bothered to inform his family.
So, My fiance (m33) comes from a well off family, I (f29) come from a working class family. My fiance’s family are nice but they can’t help throwing comments at me about how I “might be” a “Gold Digger”.
For example, if he buys me something they’ll go “oh Jason bought you that? You know what this looks like right?” And/or “Wait, Jason paid for this? Only gold diggers make their partners pay for stuff all the time, just sayin’….
It’s so demeaning and my fiance does nothing to stop it. Especially now that he’s in a bad place in life after he lost his job. And since he’s keeping it secret then, I’m the one paying for everything.
This has been going on for 4 months.
Recently they were at a family dinner and OP could no longer hold her tongue, spilling the beans about how she’s been supporting them both.
Last week, His parents invited us for dinner and he insisted that we go so we went. At dinner table his mom grabbed my hand (literally while I was eating!!) And looked at my bracelet and went “Oh, this bracelet looks really nice, did Jason pay for it?”
I nodded and reminded her that he bought it for me as a birthday gift last year. She was like “hmmmm, wonder how much it costs…..” she then leaned back and said “You know I remember when my brother was dating this gold digger woman…she’d receive expensive stuff like this (pointing at the bracelet) bracelet here for her birthdays….” I was stunned, I cut her off and asked if she meant to say that I was a Gold Digger. She threw her hands up and went “I mean…if the shoe fits….” while laughing awkwardly.
Silence took over. I looked at my fiance and he shook his head at me like “what?!?!?!” I snapped!! . I told her it was bold of her to imply I was a Gold Digger when I’m literally providing for her unemployed son, have been for 4 months now.
His family blew up, apparently ashamed of him for losing his job and/or lying about it. They even disinvited him from Thanksgiving.
They all looked shocked. She glanced at me in shock and his dad asked if it was true and my fiance just froze but looked so angry. An argument ensued and dinner was cut short and we had to leave after they started berating him.
His parents went on about how disappointed they were and now as a result, he got disinvited from Thanksgiving.
He blew up at her in the car, telling her she didn’t need to throw him under the bus and also implying that she was imagining his parents calling her a gold digger.
He had a rage fit in the car just yelling and lashing at me. In my defense, I said that he sat by and let his mom continually imply that I was a Gold Digger but he said that they never outright called me a Gold Digger so it was all in my head.
He said I still had no right to take advantage of his “unfortunate circumstance” to get back at his mom and expose him to the family.
He blew up at me because of it this morning and kept saying I screwed him over so badly when he was just an innocent bystander.
Was she wrong to out him? Is she imagining it? Reddit is going to let her know!
The top commenter thinks that her fiancee has thrown up quite a few red flags.
This person agrees, saying that his priorities are pretty messed up.
That’s not even to mention the sort of family he apparently belongs to.
Basically, they think this whole story should send OP running.
This person says to remember you’re also signing up for a lifetime with his family.
I can’t believe people are actually like this, even if Reddit convinces me there are way too many of them.
I hope OP finds someone who will stand up for her in the future!
Categories: THE REST
Tags: · aita, am i the asshole?, relationship red flags, top