Let’s get to the point, shall we?

Well, alrighty then!

It’s time to enjoy some hilarious jokes that are short and sweet.

Feel free to use these to impress your friends.

Get started now!

Hey o!

“What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

I see what you did there.

“I invented a new word!

Plagiarism!”

A real zinger!

“Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.”

Curses!

“What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

“Curses! Foil again!””

Now, this is good!

“What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Thanks— I’ll never part with it!”

Some religious humor for you.

“What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.”

Listen up.

“What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.”

The fake kind.

“What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.”

Gross, but funny.

“How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.”

You feeling okay?

“What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse.”

On a head.

“What did one hat say to the other?

You wait here. I’ll go on a head.”

Read it closely.

“What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador.”

Something’s wrong here.

“What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.”

Makes sense!

“What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?

A parrot.”

It’s silent.

“Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.”

Too bad for her.

“What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen.”

Get it?!?!

“What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey.”

You gotta love it.

“Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.”

So long.

“What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

Bison.”

Makes total sense.

“What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?

The space bar.”

Get some culture.

“Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?

Because it was cultured.”

Sorry about that.

“What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.”

This is amazing.

“Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.”

Bad dog!

“Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.

He kept leaving little messages around the house.”

Surprise!

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.”

They stole it.

“Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.”

Yes, he does.

“Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.”

Can’t find it.

“Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.”

Spoiled.

“What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.”

How rude!

“Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.”

Definitely stealing some of these!