Are y’all ready for some HUGE laughs?!?!

Well, if you are, then you’re definitely in the right place!

Because these short jokes are funny as HECK and they’re gonna make you LOL.

Get started now and have some fun!

Be careful!

“Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.”

Out you go.

“Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.””

Hey o!

“Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him “What’s the word on the street?”

“Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.”

A good one.

“Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

You deserve it.

“Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.”

LOL.

“A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

Paws.

“A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.

The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

I get it!

“Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.”

Give him some space.

“Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.”

Think about it.

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.”

You’ll love this one.

“Why did the chicken go to the séance?

To get to the other side. “

It’ll work.

“Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.”

This is great.

“How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.”

Poor thing.

“What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.”

Not bad at all.

“What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business!”

Religious humor.

“How does Moses make tea?

He brews.”

Thieves.

“Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.”

Lock it down.

“How do you keep a bagel from getting away?

Put lox on it.”

Timely.

“A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …””

Try it.

“What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.”

Not a good idea.

“Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.”

Darn rabbits.

“What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.”

Do you get this one?

“What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.”

The difference.

“What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.”

Read it closely.

“Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

It’s two gross.”

That last one… a gross unit is 144 items.

Math humor!