I always dreaded when it was the first day of school and the teacher asked us to go around the room and say something about ourselves.

Ugh, the panic!

And even though those days are well in my rear-view mirror, these answers from teachers on AskReddit still managed to make me cringe.

Take a look!

Juvenile delinquent.

“That he has been to juvie multiple times and is currently on probation.

Then he pulled up his pants enough that everyone could see his ankle monitor. That was…something.”

Uhhhh, what?

“Someone in a class once told everyone about how his grandparents were arrested for keep a bunch of adopted children in cages.

He said that he used to play with the kids when he was young, but he was too young to understand that the conditions they were in weren’t normal.

They kept kids in cages and locked in rooms for years before they were discovered and arrested.”

Farm kid.

“”I’ve had my hand up a sheep’s bum” shocked me slightly.

Child of a farming family, helping with lambing season……”

Hahaha. Amazing.

“A guy in my class introduced himself by telling us how he decided he wanted to study philosophy because one day he was really high peeing in the street and he saw a couple of people working and he wondered what they were doing.

So he realized his passion was wondering.

He dropped out like 2 months later.”

Isn’t that nice?

“In the context of having students introduce themselves one-by-one to a new boy in a small high school class, a girl said her parents got her a nose job and a boob job.”

Good for you!

“I am raising cockroaches in my closet to sell to the reptile shop”

Whoa!

“I’m a teacher from the UK, form tutor to a Year 7 class (11 year olds) To get to know each other on the first day I had them take it in turns to say their name, which primary school they’ve come from and an interesting fact, like favourite food or colour.

We get to the last kid in the class, his fact is that he has 6 fingers on one hand.

Coolest kid ever.”

He was convinced.

“Taught elementary school the past few years

. One kid told me he was a dragon when he was born but changed into a human as he got older.

He was absolutely convinced and couldn’t be persuaded.”

Probably shouldn’t say that out loud.

“On the first day of 9th grade they had to form a circle and say one thing about ourselves that we thought was unique.

When it was this dudes turn (lets call him mike) Mike stands up and says in a really serious tone goes ” My mom and dad grow weed”.”

Keep those hidden, okay?

“I have 17 piercings, but only 6 are readily visible”

I’m a fan of this.

“This one kid requested to be called “The Surgeon General” in a confusing attempt at humor.

He thought it was pretty funny, we all laughed at how weird it was, but there was no actual thought put into the “joke” as he was just being random.

But the teacher remembered this, and whenever the kid acted out in class the teacher would refer to him as “Mr. Surgeon General” when reprimanding him, much to the kid’s embarrassment.”

Me, too!

“I remember one kid used it as an opportunity to explain that he believed in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Stay away from her.

“‘Hi. I’m Dorian and coming to uni is the only time I’m allowed out because I’m under house arrest for attempted murder’.

First year University student. First year.”

That’s sad.

“This one kid went off about how his mom was a m*th addict and he hadn’t seen her in 13 years.”

Really bad.

“Sadly in a S** Education class, a 12 year old was very worried about having ETS, AIDS and HIV.

“My parents have been using drugs and have shared many siryngs, even when my mum was pregnant with me so I don’t know if I have it or not”

So sad. So shocking for us, the teachers and the kids in the class.”

Injury stories.

“One day, a student said: “I was riding my bike over the weekend when I fell.”, I could see where it was going but didn’t have enough time to enforce the rule when he just spat out: “I fell over a wired fence and cut my neck, it just kept gushing blood, a lot of blood.”.

I reminded him that we were only sharing good news when he said: “It’s good because I’m still alive.”.

I had a good laugh and agreed but the damage was done, every kid after him wanted to share about the most horrific injury they had or witnessed.”

still managed to make me cringe.

Take a look!

Juvenile delinquent.

“That he has been to juvie multiple times and is currently on probation.

Then he pulled up his pants enough that everyone could see his ankle monitor. That was…something.”

Uhhhh, what?

“Someone in a class once told everyone about how his grandparents were arrested for keep a bunch of adopted children in cages.

He said that he used to play with the kids when he was young, but he was too young to understand that the conditions they were in weren’t normal.

They kept kids in cages and locked in rooms for years before they were discovered and arrested.”

Farm kid.

“”I’ve had my hand up a sheep’s bum” shocked me slightly.

Child of a farming family, helping with lambing season……”

Hahaha. Amazing.

“A guy in my class introduced himself by telling us how he decided he wanted to study philosophy because one day he was really high peeing in the street and he saw a couple of people working and he wondered what they were doing.

So he realized his passion was wondering.

He dropped out like 2 months later.”

Isn’t that nice?

“In the context of having students introduce themselves one-by-one to a new boy in a small high school class, a girl said her parents got her a nose job and a boob job.”

Good for you!

“I am raising cockroaches in my closet to sell to the reptile shop”

Whoa!

“I’m a teacher from the UK, form tutor to a Year 7 class (11 year olds) To get to know each other on the first day I had them take it in turns to say their name, which primary school they’ve come from and an interesting fact, like favourite food or colour.

We get to the last kid in the class, his fact is that he has 6 fingers on one hand.

Coolest kid ever.”

He was convinced.

“Taught elementary school the past few years

. One kid told me he was a dragon when he was born but changed into a human as he got older.

He was absolutely convinced and couldn’t be persuaded.”

Probably shouldn’t say that out loud.

“On the first day of 9th grade they had to form a circle and say one thing about ourselves that we thought was unique.

When it was this dudes turn (lets call him mike) Mike stands up and says in a really serious tone goes ” My mom and dad grow weed”.”

Keep those hidden, okay?

“I have 17 piercings, but only 6 are readily visible”

I’m a fan of this.

“This one kid requested to be called “The Surgeon General” in a confusing attempt at humor.

He thought it was pretty funny, we all laughed at how weird it was, but there was no actual thought put into the “joke” as he was just being random.

But the teacher remembered this, and whenever the kid acted out in class the teacher would refer to him as “Mr. Surgeon General” when reprimanding him, much to the kid’s embarrassment.”

Me, too!

“I remember one kid used it as an opportunity to explain that he believed in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Stay away from her.

“‘Hi. I’m Dorian and coming to uni is the only time I’m allowed out because I’m under house arrest for attempted murder’.

First year University student. First year.”

That’s sad.

“This one kid went off about how his mom was a m*th addict and he hadn’t seen her in 13 years.”

Really bad.

“Sadly in a S*x Education class, a 12 year old was very worried about having ETS, AIDS and HIV.

“My parents have been using drugs and have shared many siryngs, even when my mum was pregnant with me so I don’t know if I have it or not”

So sad. So shocking for us, the teachers and the kids in the class.”

Injury stories.

“One day, a student said: “I was riding my bike over the weekend when I fell.”, I could see where it was going but didn’t have enough time to enforce the rule when he just spat out: “I fell over a wired fence and cut my neck, it just kept gushing blood, a lot of blood.”.

I reminded him that we were only sharing good news when he said: “It’s good because I’m still alive.”.

I had a good laugh and agreed but the damage was done, every kid after him wanted to share about the most horrific injury they had or witnessed.”

Wow! That was a lot!