August 3, 2023 at 10:35 pm

‘I’m known in the family to be a “control freak.” They Are Accused of Ruining a Family Dinner. Did They Act Like a Jerk?

by Justin Gardner

Family Control Freak AITA Im known in the family to be a control freak. They Are Accused of Ruining a Family Dinner. Did They Act Like a Jerk?

Sometimes, you just have to walk away.

Yes, it might cause some drama, but if you feel that it’s serious enough, you gotta make your decision.

That’s what’s going on here in this story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page, but it sounds like this person is having some second thoughts.

Did they act like an a**hole?

Check out their story and see what you think.

AITA for accepting the suggestion and not coming back, ruined a family dinner?

“I’m known in the family to be a “control freak” about preparing food.

In fact, in my family, there are 2 dinners in the year that all members come (in all 30 people) and before I took over, all dinners were extremely late, there was always some problem with seasoning or poor preparation.

I’m organized and for every meal, I have a spreadsheet with everything I need to make a huge scale dinner.

At first, they didn’t respect it, but after seeing that my method was useful, everyone joined in and allowed me to be the head of the organization. Since then, dinners are ready on time, everyone praises and repeats the dish (not very common).

It’s 1-2 day for preparing meals. I don’t ask them to help me, because I know I’m serious with organization, but if the person wants to, I ask them to respect the process.

Another fact: my mother was a cook (for 1 year) and my SIL is studying gastronomy.

The situation:

Sunday was the half-yearly dinner and I was the head as usual. Would help me: my SIL, mother, aunt and uncle. This would be SIL’s first family dinner and she offered to help.

During the preparation, my mother started to do several things wrong and every time I said something, she said something like “Stay calm, a wrong thing will not lead to anything”.

The problem is that she did so much wrong, skipping so many NECESSARY steps in the food that most things I had to redo or give a second look. She continued to help even though I said it wasn’t necessary.

I broke down when I just commented something about steps with my SIL and she corrected me, I was going to comment but my mother said “I think you better cool off in the pool and let those with experience sort it out”.

I accepted, grabbed a glass of wine, the spreadsheet with me and spent the whole day in the pool, ignoring when asked to come back.

So… Dinner was late, poorly seasoned, undercooked and no one had a second dish.

My mother later said that I ruined dinner and humiliated our family in front of relatives in revenge. I shouldn’t take that serious, because it was a silly family joke.

Btw, I love making these dinners, and yes, my mother’s SIL behavior is common.

AITA?

And here’s how people reacted on Reddit.

One person said they’re NTA and that she got to enjoy her day at the pool.

Screen Shot 2023 06 12 at 8.23.12 AM copy Im known in the family to be a control freak. They Are Accused of Ruining a Family Dinner. Did They Act Like a Jerk?

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another individual said it sounds like their mom isn’t used to people following through on things.

Screen Shot 2023 06 12 at 8.23.29 AM copy Im known in the family to be a control freak. They Are Accused of Ruining a Family Dinner. Did They Act Like a Jerk?

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this Reddit user also said she’s NTA and she should put some rules in place next time.

Screen Shot 2023 06 12 at 8.23.53 AM copy Im known in the family to be a control freak. They Are Accused of Ruining a Family Dinner. Did They Act Like a Jerk?

Photo Credit: Reddit

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reality of what’s happened here didn’t play out exactly how this person says, BUT… if people tell you to go away and you do… that’s their fault.

NTA.