‘She creates the stress for herself and then turns to me.’ Husband Thinks His Wife Shouldn’t Overwhelm Herself With Such High Standards, But People Roast Him In The Comments
by Trisha Leigh
Conversations about relationships are running rampant, and with all of the discussion about who does more work and why, this man thinks maybe he has the answer.
And it’s lowered expectations.
My wife (37f) and I (38m) have 3 kids, 12, 10, and 8. She is in a constant state of overwhelm and very easily irritated, constantly complaining how it’s all too much.
I’m of course happy to help and do my fair share for the kids or household, but it’s never enough because her standards are too high.
OP and his wife have three children, none of whom are even teenagers yet. She thinks they need to get up and help them get ready for school.
He doesn’t – so he sleeps in while she does the routine, even though she asks for his help.
She insists one of us has to be up at 6:45 every morning to make sure the kids are ready and make the bus which comes at 7:45. I told her they’re old enough to not need that much help already. They can all dress themselves and pour themselves cereal and milk, there’s no reason we have to be up.
She says that cereal isn’t a good enough breakfast, they need something more substantial, especially the 12 year old, and that the 10 year old has adhd and will definitely struggle without help in the morning and anyway she wants to see them off and kiss them goodbye for the day.
So she gets up, I don’t, then she gets upset that I never give her a morning off when all she needs to do is just take the morning off when she wants and let the kids handle themselves.
She thinks they need to have screen limits. He doesn’t, so he doesn’t help her enforce them.
Also she is super strict about screen time during the week and is exhausted and snappy from arguing about it with the kids and upset i don’t support her strict limit of 2 hours a day.
I say as long as homework is done, why not until bed. She says it’s not healthy for them, they need to play outside or with games and toys, read some books, just entertain themselves in more ways than 1.
I agree they should enjoy other things but not seeing why we have to make such a rigid limit.
She thinks it’s fun to do things as a family on the weekends, he thinks it’s too much work – so he suggests they stay home.
She also likes to get out on weekends and do stuff like zoos, museums etc, but then complains about the planning for the outing and how grouchy the youngest gets by the end of it, and again, I say let’s just chill at home and voila, you’ve cut the work!
He thinks the answer to all of her problems is just to expect less and chill out more.
I’m an engaged and active parent, I’m not trying to get out of it, but I don’t think I should have to help my wife dig herself out of her own self created holes.
She creates the stress for herself and then turns to me to alleviate it which I think is unfair.
AITA for telling her she needs to do less and then she won’t need this level of help?
What does Reddit think? We’re about to find out!
The top comment says that his wife is just being a decent parent.
While this person says sometimes kids these ages have to get ready on their own in the morning, it’s a dang shame if their parents are just opting out of spending time with them.
This commenter also thinks OP’s wife has some very valid points.
And this person thinks the point is more that he’s being so unsupportive of his wife.
They want OP to know he’s not a hero.
I don’t know everything, but I know one thing for sure.
This man is going to be SHOCKED when his wife files for divorce – but no one else is.