‘I reminded them that I’m also their daughter.’ Woman’s Parents Threaten To Cut Her Off If She Doesn’t Accept Her Sister Dating Her Ex
by Trisha Leigh
This one is a wild ride – in case you couldn’t tell by the headline – and a pretty cut-and-dried case.
That said, people really love drama that belongs to other people, so let’s take a peek behind the curtain, shall we?
OP had a younger stepsister, and growing up, they spent a lot of time together because the younger sister had cancer.
Their parents forced OP to quit her extracurriculars and to get a job in order to help care for her ailing sister, to drive her to appointments, and to basically just stop her from feeling left out.
My (25F) father married my step-sister’s (23F) mother when I was 4 and she was 3. We’ve lived together most of our lives and are a family. She and I were extremely close.
She developed cancer when she was 14 and was sick for about 2 years. She’s since made a full recovery. During that time, my parents became understandably over-protective.
They also asked a lot of me. I quit my extracurriculars so I could get a job (the money went towards her medical bills) and so I could drive her to appointments. I didn’t go to dances and any fun activities I did needed to include her.
I did almost all of this willingly, the exception being having to quit my high school volleyball team – I did throw a bit of a tantrum about that, but was swiftly punished.
And I think having one emotional breakdown was pretty chill given the circumstances.
In college (and after) OP had a boyfriend that was super serious – until she found him sleeping with her sister.
Anyhow, I go to college and meet my ex, we’ll call him Ben, when I’m a junior. We fall in love, blah blah blah. He and I move in together when we graduate, so we’ve been living together for about 3 years.
We were serious until July when I walked into my bedroom and saw him screwing my sister.
No apologies came, and eventually OP learned her sister and her ex were together.
I broke it off, tears were shed, he moved out, etc. My sister apologized at first but then backed off. I thought she was giving me space but last week she called and asked if we could meet up.
She told me that she and Ben were in love and were just telling me as a courtesy before they started posting photos online.
Distraught, I left her in the restaurant by herself and did not pay my portion of the bill. She later venmo’ed me asking for the money.
When she was (understandably) unhappy about this, her parents threatened to cut her off if she couldn’t change her tune.
She told my parents who then called me to their house, telling me how disappointed in me they are for not supporting my sister’s relationship with Ben. They brought up the fact that because she had cancer as a teenager, she never learned proper social etiquette, and has a hard time meeting people.
I don’t buy this, in part because I’ve seen her socialize just fine and since we spent a good chunk of the time she was sick together, that would also mean that I should have bad social skills as well, by that logic.
They then told me that if I don’t accept my sister and Ben’s relationship, they may have to go no contact with me. I reminded them that I’m also their daughter and they should understand my point of view, but they are adamant that this is about me being jealous of her.
It turns out that was because the sister is also pregnant and her mom wants to be happy about being a grandma.
Turns out my sister is not only in a relationship with Ben but FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT. Which means she and Ben were screwing for longer than I had even guessed.
Apparently my parents are so adamant that I forgive her because I’m already ruining their experience of their first grandchild.
That’s right, I’m less important than my stepmom posting ultrasounds to Facebook. This is where we’re at.
For the record: I’m not jealous of her. I’m not upset that Ben picked her over me. I’m sad about the end of the relationship and do feel betrayed, but lord knows that I don’t want to be with a cheater.
What I’m upset about is the fact that my sister chose Ben over me. That she slept with Ben knowing he and I were in a long-term, committed relationship, and continues to be with him knowing how much it hurts me.
Now no one in my immediate family is talking to me and I’m getting messages from aunts and uncles and cousins telling me that I’m a jerk and a selfish witch.
If OP is looking for some reassurance that she’s not crazy, I think it’s probably coming!
The top comment says having cancer is not a blank check to do whatever you want.
This person has a serious pep talk for OP.
Seriously, OP is doing great.
They encourage OP to go ahead and go nuclear.
Others want OP to realize that this mistreatment of her has been going on for a LONG time.
I can’t believe there are parents out there who act like this.
I mean, they’re both your kids but you have to allow them to draw the line with each other when it’s so obviously crossed.