Family can be messy.

Especially when you and your siblings divide up items from the house in which you grew up.

And even more so when there’s a big divide between the way you treat your possessions, and the way they do.

AITA for hiding family heirlooms when my family visits?

I (42 F) am one of five children, and my father died when we were very young leaving my mom and my four siblings.

My parents had collected a lot of cool things over the years. When my mom downsized to a condo after all the kids had left home, she got rid of a lot of items that she no longer had room for. We all had things that we were sentimental about and as one of the younger siblings I didn’t request anything although I had strong connections to a few items.

After everyone had decided on what they wanted I wound up with three things that were of little to no financial value, but I treasure them for the memories they represent.

The first item is a tractor seat that is bolted to a butcher block to make a funky chair. The second item is a 1970s tacky spice cabinet, and the third thing is a set of stoneware pastry bowls that my mom had saved green stamps to buy.

The slightly-jealous siblings start to notice the items she got.

Over the years my siblings have sold, destroyed, or lost the items that they got.

And now, when they come to my house, they often comment on the things I have “I didn’t know you got those”, “I’ve always wanted that”, etc.

My mom even told my sister behind my back that she could have tractor seat chair that I had because “I wasn’t really using it”.

My mom saw that I had it in the garage because I was protecting it from the weather and it needed sanding.

And then her sister just outright asks.

For other reasons, I have gone no contact with this sister. Well, she texted me out of the blue to ask if she could have the chair.

I told her it was sentimental for me and I would prefer to keep it. She tried to guilt trip me about how she didn’t have anything left from our parents.

I didn’t reply, conversation over.

I also knew that if she had it, it would likely be ruined since she is a bit of a hoarder and doesn’t take care of things.

She has let a flooding basement go on unresolved for years and her entire house smells like mildew. So bad that I can smell it on her whenever I’m around her.

She refuses to acknowledge there is a problem.

She even took proactive measures to hide one item.

Shortly after the text exchange, my mom came to house-sit for one night, and I hid the chair in question because I was worried she was going to have my sister come over and grab it, or take it for her.

Then again recently, my mom asked me if she could have the spice rack to give to my sister. I said that I was using it, which is true.

We will be hosting Christmas this year and I plan to hide the bowls, the chair, and the spice rack while my family is visiting.

The whole experience has soured her in regards to her family.

I’m starting to feel like I don’t really want anything to do with my family at all, including the heirlooms.

I’m not someone who is generally attached to things, especially when it starts to affect a relationship, but I feel on principle this is about more than the heirlooms and more about boundaries.

I feel bad about hiding things, but AITA?

Maybe it’s part of the dynamic of being the youngest sibling.

But you know what they say: Possession is 9/10ths of the law!

Let’s see what folks had to say.

It’s a pretty unanimous NTA vote across the board.

This commenter reminds OP to stand up for themself.

While this user narrows in who’s really to blame here.

One person sees a trend across Redditverse.

It’s always nice to have a Reddit thread on board wholeheartedly with you in a situation like this.

But it’s still tough. Hang in there, and hang on!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.