‘Can’t you just let it go?’ Woman Insists 14-Year-Old Girl Apologizes For Rude Comment About Her Weight
by Trisha Leigh
There are so many minefields to navigate in middle school, and a lot of those revolve around making friends. The last thing anyone needs is their parents getting involved and ruining friendships that are just beginning to take off.
OP is a middle-aged mom of two. Her daughter is introverted and has struggled to make friends, so she and her husband were initially thrilled when she made a new friend at school.
I (37f) have two kids with my husband (41m); a 14-year-old daughter and a 10 year-old son.
Our daughter has always been a little socially awkward to the point that we’ve had her tested since we suspected her of being on the spectrum. Turns out she isn’t on the spectrum; she’s just a natural introvert.
However, this year in school we were thrilled when our daughter made a new friend her age since that is an area in which she struggles.
When the friend came over for dinner and to spend the night, though, she made an awkward joke about OP being a “bigger woman” because her husband was such a good cook.
Long story short she recently invited her new friend over (with our approval) to have dinner at our house and then spend the night.
So, my daughter’s friend came over. My husband is usually the cook in the family and this night was no exception; he made us all a really nice meal.
During the course of said meal I asked my daughter’s friend; “Are you enjoying the food?”
She responded “Yes! [Your husband] is a great cook! No wonder you’ve ended up a bigger woman.”
Nothing more was said about it, but when her daughter asked if the friend could spend the night again, the mom said only if she was willing to apologize.
The room got quiet for several moments. My husband tried to laugh it off and change the subject but I wasn’t having it. The girl had just leveled a completely uncalled-for insult at me.
My daughter’s friend seemed to realize that she’d messed up but she didn’t say anything else. We finished an awkward dinner in mostly silence and my daughter’s friend did stay the night.
This was a couple of months ago. Recently my daughter asked if she could have her friend back over and I told her “Sure; if she’s going to apologize to me.”
The daughter and husband both think OP is hanging onto something she needs to let go, but OP argues she thinks her daughter’s friends should have better manners.
When our daughter asked what I meant I reminded her of what she’d said. My daughter responded that it was over and she didn’t want to bring it up again.
She then went to her father and asked. He said “sure” but she then told him what I’d said. He came to me and said: “[Daughter’s friend] just felt awkward and tried to make a joke. It didn’t land. For the sake of our daughter can’t you just let it go?”
Yes, I could, but the thing is that I just want an apology from the girl. I need to see that she understands how rude she was before I can get on board with her and my daughter hanging out.
My husband says that I am being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14 year-old, especially since that girl is such a good friend of our daughter. I think it’s weird that I’m still waiting for an apology from that same girl.
Seriously. That’s all I need. I just need to know that any friend of my daughter is willing to own up to her screw ups.
Whose side is Reddit on? The answer might surprise you!
The top comment says OP needs to be the grown up and let it go.
This person says it’s time to start treating her daughter’s friends like they were her own.
They say you have to meet teenagers where they are.
Plus, OP might just be taking insult where none was meant.
No one loves how hard OP is holding onto this grudge.
I agree with Reddit on this one.
Address it immediately or let it go.