Parents Invite Son’s Ex And Son To Welcome Home Party, And Are Furious When He Isn’t Excited To See Them
by Ryan McCarthy
Being a parent is a huge responsibility, a responsibility that not all people are exactly ready or willing to have. But still, happy accidents are probably how must of us got here anyway, and if one parent wants to take on the responsibility themselves then they have every right to.
That was the case for this user on Reddit, when a girl he was seeing became pregnant and decided to raise the baby herself with the user’s contribution being strictly financial.
However, when his parents invited the girl and his son to his welcome back party after years of no contact, he went to Reddit to see if he was in the wrong for how he reacted.
Check it out!
AITA for not being happy that my parents invited my son to my “welcome party”?
So, when I (m29) was 21 I got a scholarship to study in Japan (I was a college student in the US).
I was very excited to go, however a girl I was seeing ended up pregnant (we were not together, but were exclusive).
Of course I didn’t want a baby with my fwb, and also it would ruin my opportunity to go to Japan.
I begged her to have an abortion, since why would any of us want that baby? We were definitely not committed to each other.
We had discussed abortions before (as many other subjects), so I knew that she didn’t have a problem with abortions.
However, she decided that she was going to keep the baby.
But OP wasn’t at a place in his life to become a Father.
I told her that honestly I didn’t want to be a father, but that I’ll wait until the baby’s birth because maybe I’ll feel different then.
I didn’t change my mind when the baby was born. So we agreed that I wouldn’t be an active father, but I’ll fulfill all of my responsibilities.
I had to cancel my trip to Japan to get a better job so I could pay child support. Thankfully my parents also helped me so I moved in with them, I almost had to drop out of college but thankfully I was able to graduate.
I still wanted to go to Japan, so when one of my ex classmates moved in there to work I asked him to let me know if there was any vacancy at his company. I got a job there and moved in October 2019.
Once he was overseas, COVID hit and he didn’t have the opportunity to come home for a while.
Ever since, I couldn’t come back to America, because of COVID and also because the rhythm of work there is harder, so I was always working and trying to advance in my career.
Of course I continued sending the money for my son.
Well, the thing is that I have vacation now and I travelled for Thanksgiving.
I got here the week prior to thanksgiving and my parents prepared a “welcome party” with our family and friends.
But there were two guests at the party that he definitely was not expecting to see!
They apparently got very close to my son when I was not here and they invited him and his mother.
To be honest I don’t have any problems with them, but we don’t have a close relationship either.
When I went to the backyard (where the guest were) I greeted them both, but I was feeling awkward and we didn’t talk much.
Things soured when his parents became upset with him…
When everyone left my parents told me off because they expected me to be way happier about seeing my son.
I don’t understand why they expected me to be happier, I don’t know my son too much, he wasn’t very excited to see me either.
But it’s been far too long and they’re still upset, so I need some outsider POV since my friends are agreeing with me, but they might be doing it just to not argue with me.
It might have been an idea born of good intentions, but surprising him like that when he hadn’t had contact with his son in so long is definitely a lot to spring on someone! If the girl and him agreed on having his parenting contribution be financial, its not their place to try and change that!
Reddit agreed that OP was in no way in the wrong here, with this user commenting on the tendency for people to tell those who don’t want children that someday they’ll change their minds.
And this commenter recounted a similar experience where an ex-friend disregarded her situation to try and force her to have a child.
Many users thought that this was the parents way of trying to force a relationship between the estranged parents, which neither of them seemed to want.
This Redditor thought that, if anything, the parents should have let the bond between them grow naturally instead of forcing interaction.
And finally this user recalled a situation where she was put in the position of the young boy, and recalled it didn’t bring her any joy, but rather made her uncomfortable.
Ultimately, if the parents agreed on a certain relationship, its not OP’s family’s place to try and make that relationship into anything more!
Mind your own business, parents!
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
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