January 1, 2024 at 6:39 pm

Sister Wants Tattoo To Remember Beloved Teacher Who Passed, But Brother Says Her Tattoo Would Be “Cruel” To Their Mom

by Ryan McCarthy

Source: Reddit/AITA/iStock

Parents have a tricky relationship with tattoos that their children get. Holidays for young people who have them usually consist of long sleeves and carefully selected clothing, but this is usually for the benefit of the Mom and Dad, not because of an enraged sibling!

However, when this user’s sister wanted a tattoo to commemorate her mentor who had passed away, he went to Reddit to see if he was in the wrong for opposing it so strongly.

See whose side you’re on!

AITA for calling my sister cruel for her tattoo idea?

Sis is 28 I’m 26M. My sis N has always had a strained relationship with our parents especially my mom. I am clearly not privy to the reasons because things are fine with me and my parents.

When N went to college she met her creative writing professor as a freshman and they got close immediately. They would do a lot together and worked closely on a few different writing projects.

According to the user, the relationship between his sister and her professor soon went beyond student/teacher.

N never specifically said this, but it was obvious to anyone who saw them interact that they had a substitute mother/daughter type relationship. Which hurt my mom a lot to see. I always thought she’d grow out of it or that the prof would move on but ten years later they were still very close.

After the professor tragically died, it seemed her passing only deepened the divide between the sister and their parents.

About a month ago the prof died unexpectedly and it devastated N.

She was really depressed over the holidays which of course was all in front of my mom and was a difficult reminder that N loved the prof as a mother way more than she ever loved my mom as a mother.

My mom tried to comfort N but N was doing her distant thing and didn’t want comfort.

Because of the way she learned about her professor’s passing, she received an injury that only reminded her of what she had lost .

Something unfortunate that happened to N is that when she got the call that she died, she was brewing tea and in the shock of the news she spilled boiling water on her arm which burned her kinda badly on her wrist.

N said it was especially hard because in addition to the physical pain, every time she looks at it she is reminded of the moment she found out the prof died.

The argument came when the Sister wanted to get a tattoo to memorialize her old professor.

I was on FaceTime with N and she said she talked to her tattoo artist friend who said that the burn should be able to heal well enough to get a tattoo over it.

N then excitedly told me about her idea which is a type of flower that the prof gave her a bouquet of for her undergrad graduation.

I guess N and the prof exchanged these flowers for every special occasion like birthdays etc.

But this memory also held a lot of pain for her Mother.

 My mom was so embarrassed that day because she didn’t get N flowers but the prof did and N was parading them around so happy and it was a reminder of their connection.

OP strictly opposed this tattoo idea, telling his sister that it was extremely cruel to their Mother.

So now she wants to get a decent sized tattoo in a highly visible spot of something that will remind everyone of the prof.

I told N that this seemed really cruel to my mom who already feels cast aside and like she’s in exile from N.

And that’s without the constant permanent reminder.

His sister proceeded to go off on him for trying to control how she remembered someone she cared about.

N kind of scoffed and said “I can’t believe you think you have the right to tell me not to do this,” called me an ass and hung up and is still not talking to me except for a very brief text saying congrats for a promotion I just got.

I feel like I was just being protective of my mom. But AITA?

Seems like this user is much more concerned about their Mom getting her feelings slightly hurt than his sister losing someone she cares deeply about.

Reddit agreed, saying that even from his perspective, it sounded like the classic case of the golden child and the forgotten child. This commenter suggested the user talk to his sister about her childhood and listen to her side of the story.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another user added that its perfectly normal to form relationships with other people than your parents.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And finally, one user commented some context that OP had left out in the post, which gives some explanation for his sister’s coldness to their parents.

Source: Reddit/AITA

While OP’s sister could be more considerate of her Mother’s feeling of abandonment, it seems like this guy should try and understand his sister’s point of view.

After all, the guy died! Have a heart!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.