One of the only true things about all sets of siblings is that sometimes, they don’t get along. It’s just a fact of life that anyone who lives with you and knows everything about you also knows how to push your buttons.

As siblings get older, though, a little bit goes a long way.

OP’s the eldest and noticed a disturbing trend while visiting home.

I (25F) am home for the holidays, so I’m seeing my sister Ella (18) and brother Finn (17) for the first time in months.

To put it simply, Ella tortures Finn. Finn can’t open his mouth around her without her getting angry.

She makes fun of his hair (he wears it long), his clothes, his hobbies, his friends.

She watched as her middle sister gave her youngest brother a hard time under the guise of a “joke.”

For example, I mentioned I was thinking of taking on extra work, Finn said that’s a good idea because my rent has gone up.

Ella responded “since when do you have a finance degree” even if, frankly, he was right.

He tripped up the stairs last night, she told to stop pretending to be drunk (he was drinking with his friends downstairs). Ella seems to think its all a joke, but it upsets Finn.

Finn asked if we wanted to watch a movie tonight and suggested one he likes, Ella responded “not everything is about you.”

Finn wore a t-shirt of a band he likes, Ella complained he doesn’t even listen to them.

And on and on it went.

Yesterday, we went to a little coffee place. The usual “joke” arguments happened all the way there.

The trouble started when Finn accidentally knocked the table, and Ella exploded, saying “there’s hot drinks on this table, would you be careful” and then yelling some more when Finn said it was an accident.

I tried to defuse it and told Ella to stop, she replied “You need to learn to take a joke”.

Finally, she blew up in defense of her brother.

When I told her she was taking it too far, Ella kept on complaining.

She gave us the silent treatment, even when Finn asked about her plans, and when she gave a blunt answer, turned to me and said “sorry did I take that too far again?”

I told her yes, and she started yelling at us again about how we gang up on her (we don’t).

Here’s the issue; during the commotion, Finn made a remark about Ella’s friends (I didn’t hear this, but Ella was very upset and Finn admitted he said it).

Last year, some really bad stuff went down between Ella and her friends that really upset her, so he touched a nerve. Knowingly or unknowingly.

And I was sympathetic, as from what I saw happened, it was bad bad and it messed her up. And Finn apologised. But, I was on Finn’s side, because Ella had ripped into him non-stop.

So Ella was yelling at Finn, and our mum was telling the both of them to make up, I stepped in remembering all the crap Ella pulled, and said “Ella shouldn’t dish it if she can’t take it”.

Her mom says she doesn’t know everything and should stay out of it.

And yes, it was harsh and I shouldn’t have said it. But I felt like someone needed to put Ella in her place, because all she did until then was whine about me “babying” Finn and Finn’s inability to “take a joke”.

Ella stormed off crying.

My mum told me it wasn’t my place to tell her as I’m only seeing part of what’s going on-apparently they’ve been at each other since she got back.

And maybe that’s true but all I see, even before I moved out, was her antagonizing him and him giving her more grace than she deserved.

Now, Ella is not talking to me. My mum is insisting I stay out of it and we all make up for Christmas.

Does Reddit agree? How can they not?!

The top comment says sometimes it needs to be your business.

This person wonders whether the fallout with her friends was because she’s awful.

And yeah, turnabout can be fair play.

This commenter had some creative ideas on how to handle it.

Either way, it’s definitely time for OP’s sister to grow up.

Siblings are the way that they are, I suppose.

I’m sure they’ll get over it eventually.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.