Living, working and dating as a first gen immigrant in a new country has got to be TOUGH!

And as morally advanced as we might all think we are in this day and age, it’s still a trudge to navigate people who have their aspersions towards people from another country.

Staying calm and collected in the face of downright nasty people and their comments is always easier said than done.

Here’s a story of a young woman navigating all of that, and still has the wherewithal to make sure she’s not being nasty herself.

AITA for saying my partner is the one that’s lucky to be with me?

So I (23f) have been dating my bf (25m) for a year and a half now, we’re very happy together, rarely argue and are very much in love.

For context I’m a first generation immigrant from a third world country living in a European country, my bf on the other hand is a native.

I study Robotics and he studied linguistics but is currently unemployed.

The comments from his family members start…seemingly playful or innocent enough.

Anyways on to the issue.

I’ve met his family a handful of times now and at first they were very welcoming and lovely.

I really thought they liked me and then they started making comments like “oh you must be very happy you ended up with a guy like bf” and “you’re such a lucky girl to be dating bf”.

I would smile and say I am very happy and he is indeed a thoughtful loving man.

So while pushed constantly with these comments, she eventually pushed back.

This went on for a while until eventually I just blurted out “oh well he’s lucky to be with me just as much as I am lucky to be with him”

And his mom laughed and said not exactly and told me that I have to admit the perks of dating a native and how men like him usually don’t date girls like me.

I found this very offensive and told her I do love her son but he is unemployed and will probably be for a very long time because of his useless degree and that if someone is lucky, it would be him.

Ouch.

That didn’t sit well with dear old mom…

Obviously she got very mad and kicked me out and I gladly left.

My bf wasn’t present at that time but I suspect his mother told him everything except the part where she was very prejudiced, because he called me and was angry that I said he’s lucky to be with me and that his degree is useless as if I’m better than him.

I pointed out that it’s hypocritical of him to say when his family does that to me every day and he never stood up to them.

And now after some thought, she turns to trusty ol Reddit to check her actions.

Anyways now thinking back on it I think I shouldn’t have said that about him and that my grievance is with his family and not him.

So AITA?

That’s a tough one, no?

It’s genuinely down the middle.

And that’s what the comments section thought.

Another person thought ESH as well.

While one commenter sided with OP, and it’s hard to disagree!

One other Redditor thought ESH was appropriate. Guy is catching strays out there!

Pro tip… get away from that relationship and family IMMEDIATELY.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.