March 18, 2024 at 5:35 am

Older Sister Thinks Her Parents Favored Her Younger Sister Too Much, And Now Her Request For A Childless Wedding Threatens To Sabotage Her Younger Sister’s Big Day

by Chris Allen

Source: Reddit/AITA/Shutterstock

Even on Reddit’s AITA, it’s tough to find someone so out-of-touch with reality that they post thinking they’re in the right.

Usually there’s a toned-down hint of understanding wrong-doing. Of how they might be coming across to complete and total (judgemental) strangers.

But not this woman!

Because denial and entitlement go together like the Buffalo Bills and not winning Super Bowls.

This story will have you shouting out loud. I promise.

AITA for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding, knowing that it means most of our family won’t attend?

I (40F) am significantly older than my sister, 25F. As such, after she was born, I was repeatedly looked over and parentified by my parents in favor of her.

Examples of this include giving my old clothes and toys to her (without my permission), rather than preserving them as a keepsake of my childhood.

In short, my inner child has had to do a lot of healing over the years.

Petty? Perhaps. But she isn’t happy and now things are strained.

I am low contact with my parents and sister, but apparently she is engaged and wants me to be a part of the wedding party.

Now, I am not comfortable around children of any age. It is part of my trauma; being around them for me comes with a sense of responsibility that reminds me of the neglect I suffered at the hands of my family. My sister knows this, so I assumed with her asking me to be in the wedding, that the wedding would be childfree.

During a discussion, she mentioned her fiancé’s best friend’s daughter would be serving as flower girl and our cousin’s son would be ring bearer.

I reminded her that I would not be comfortable around children and expressed my disappointment that she would invite me to be in a wedding that is not childfree.

Understandably, her sister didn’t really know what to do with this request.

She looked sad for a second and told me that there were many young children and families that are close to her and her fiance and the day would feel “incomplete” without them, and if I really wasn’t comfortable around children to that extent, she would understand if I am unable to attend.

I was shocked that she would uninvite me in the favor of random kids and it reminded me of being thrown aside in favor of her when we were young, so I left to collect myself. I attempted to ask my parents to talk some sense into her but, surprise, surprise, they took her side.

At this point, I was deeply hurt and needed an outlet, so I did something that might make me TA. I am friends with some other family members on facebook, and I made a post about how my sister was kicking me out of the wedding and that my parents were taking her side, all because of the trauma that they contributed to themselves.

Now she’s started drama around this wedding, all by herself.

I didn’t go into detail because I didn’t think it was anyone else’s business, I just wanted to vent.

Now, people are apparently refusing to go to my sister’s wedding unless I am reinstated as part of the wedding.

She and my parents are begging me to come but still refusing to budge on the children being there, so it doesn’t make much of a difference to me.

I do feel bad because I didn’t know that our family would refuse to come but I cannot go to an event that has that many children running around or retract my statement because I don’t want the family to think I lied. AITA for refusing to go?


I have no more words.

But the comments section sure does!!

They were all golden nuggets. Like this one calling out the blatant entitlement.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One commenter even struggled to believe denial and narcissism like this is REAL.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another YTA vote from this person, who clearly sees that OP is a literal child trapped in a 40-year old body.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And one more to top off the icing on that narcissism cake.

Source: Reddit/AITA

All about her huh.

Maybe a participation trophy would have helped?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.