April 13, 2024 at 4:22 pm

“Because I Don’t Like To Help You.” Woman’s Husband Refuses To Help Her With Anything Until She Starts Paying Half Of His Truck Payments

by Ryan McCarthy

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels

Marriages are supposed to be a partnership, but for some couples, it seems a lot more like a game of chess!

They’re more concerned about proving their point to their spouse than they are coming to a conclusion, so every little thing that happens becomes contentious.

It’s like the couples you talk to that can’t help but fight or correct each other in the middle of a conversation, to the point where you started wondering why they even got together in the first place!

And a golden example is this user, whose husband refused to help her with anything, even household chores, until she agreed to split his truck payments with him!

Check it out!

AITAH for expecting my husband’s truck to be a shared resource

I (F31) have been with my husband (M31) for 10 years. We’ve lived together for most of that time, and have a child and a dog together.

This particular issue started a few months ago when he bought a new truck. The night before he had to pick it up (~1 hour drive) I asked him to take the dog out to go to the bathroom.

He refused, saying the dog is mine and therefore my responsibility, not his.

Technically the dog is an ESA for me, and when we got her we agreed that I would do the majority of the care for her.

OP said this request was the first time she had asked for help with the dog in weeks.

This has held true and this was the 1st time in over 2 weeks I had asked him to do ANY of the caretaking for her.

I told him that if he couldn’t do something as simple as take the dog out to go potty “for me” I wouldn’t be spending my day off driving him up to get his truck.

The next morning he asked me to drive him, and I told him no reminding him of our argument the night before. He ended up Ubering there, which cost $100+.

But when OP needed the truck for something, her husband was less than willing to share it with her.

A few weeks ago, I asked for his help picking up a mattress as “my” vehicle is a small car. He refused, unless I contribute $70 a month towards his truck payment.

His reasoning was that A) since I’m “benefiting” from the truck I should be helping to pay for it and B) I didn’t drive him to pick up the truck so he doesn’t want to use it to “help” me.

We had a pretty big fight about this. I argued that as his wife I should have access to his resources (within reason) without having to contribute to that specific resource financially.

I eventually apologized for not taking him to pick up the truck and he agreed that he would help me with things like this in the future.

But this argument was not even close to being over.

A few days later he helped me deliver a desk I was selling about 5 minutes away.

After the fact, he asked for half of the money I had earned from selling the desk.

I refused, because ~again~ I feel that his truck is a shared resource and he’s my husband, not a contracted delivery driver. He seemed annoyed by this but didn’t push it.

So the next time OP asked him for help, he straight up refused.

Today, I asked for his help picking up a pullout couch for our guest room. He said no. When I asked him why he said “because I don’t like to help you”.

He then further explained, “you won’t pay for part of the truck payment and you didn’t give me some of the money from your desk, so I don’t really want to use MY truck to help YOU.”

I just said, “Ok” and walked away. I’m really confused and unsure here.

I mean obviously I feel like it’s fair that he would use his truck to help me every once in a while, just like I use my resources to help him when I can.

Finally, OP said that up until the fight about the truck, her and her husband had no problem sharing with each other.

To me that’s part of being in a committed relationship with someone, and how our relationship has operated up until this ongoing issue with the truck.

But AITAH for not paying part of the truck payment?

For context he had planned to pay the whole payment himself until he, and I quote, “realized (I) would benefit from it so much” and that seemed “unfair” to him.

Talk about going Tit for tat! It’s stories like these, where every little thing is an issue, that make you wonder if the couple even likes each other!

Reddit was shocked they managed to stay together for ten years with things being so contentious!

Source: Reddit/AITA

This user said marriage was supposed to be about working toward shared goals, not fighting each other to accomplish your individual ones.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And many said they wouldn’t even accept a friend who treated them like this, let alone a partner!

Source: Reddit/AITA

Finally, this user said this story was just one vindictive punishment after another, and that their issue was much bigger than a truck!

Source: Reddit/AITA

They definitely need some marriage counseling, but I would not want to be that counselor, not even if you paid me!

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.